5.30.2003

Thoughtless Movie Rants Pt. 2
As usual, my comrade in arms hits the nail on the head with his rebuttals against the vast sea of Star Wars naysayers here and here. Read and learn, my minions.
Geek Test
Thanks to Captain Nemo, I've found and taken the Geek Test. My score is thus:
    34.31953% - Total Geek

Beat that (I'm not sure what I am proud of there, but so what)! Of course, Nemo also posts some follow up geek questions that weren't included on the list, (my answers in bold):
    --Bought widescreen video releases on VHS. Yes
    --Lectured people on why you did so. Yes
    --Know why the "Letters of Transit" make no sense. Yes
    --You know what "Plugh" or "Xyzzy" mean. No
    --You have ever been "in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike". No
    --You can name 3 film composers. Yes
    --You know who "Enoch Root" is. No
    --You know who "Gully Foyle" is. No
    --You know who "Hari Seldon" is. Yes
    --You know the significance of the date May 25, 1977.Yes

I have my own questions to add to the geek test:

    -- You know what the only improvised line in The Empire Strikes Back is and who said it.
    -- You know what the original line was supposed to be.
    -- You know how many times Buffy has died in the series.
    -- You know the real name of the 'Six Million Dollar Man'
    -- You have calculated, with inflation, what that amount is today.
    -- You know what K.I.T.T. stands for.
    -- You have attempted to synchronize the CD soundtrack to the movie scene at home.
    -- You become aggrivated when someone misquotes from a movie you know by heart.
    -- You can name at least 5 characters from the Star Wars movies whose names aren't actually spoken in the movies.
    -- You can name at least 5 characters from the Star Wars books that don't appear in the movies.
    -- You know who "Q" is in at least two long-running series.
    -- You can hum the theme to "Superman" in a moment's notice
    -- You know what kind of a gun James Bond has to give up in Dr. No to get his Walther.
    -- You have uttered, at least once in your life, "I HAVE THE POWER!!!"
    -- You know who the original Green Lantern is.
    -- You have used the phrase 'cunning linguist' with a straight face.
    -- You have used physics skills in real life situations.

That's all for now.
Thoughtless Movie Rants, Pt. 1
And no, not by me. This is about my disagreement with simpleton opinion, that is, subjective opinion in the guise of logical argument. Those that pepper their stances with phrases designed to put down the subject or addressee, without ever actually saying much of anything to back it up. In many cases (though not all), the critic suffers from an inability to understand the movie, and lashes out in anger. You've all met this person (and perhaps, like me, sometimes fallen victim to the pattern yourself). At one time or another, you've given a review of a movie as follows: "I hated it. It was stupid!" Why? "It was just stupid!" This is akin to a student who slams down the chalk in frustration and prounounces that "math sucks!!!!" when he/she can't figure out an equation. Some things take more time and effort to 'get', but usually the reward is greater than anything spoon fed.

Recently, I've seen a few instances where this above technique has been applied toward a couple of movies I'm quite fond of. Jaquandor the Firestarter predicted that my head would explode once I took a gander at this mindless rant against The Usual Suspects, which as Mr. Murtaugh notes with disgust, has made the Top 250 Films list at IMDB.com (a popularity contest, really). While I was surprised to find another critic vehemently against the movie, I am always curious to read new arguements against films; it helps me to understand the film better. Unforunately, with the exception of one statement in the end, Mr. Murtaugh's entire segment is full of circular, begging-the-question type rants that really don't explain themselves at all. To wit:
    "But it is precisely because so many people think that The Usual Suspects is not a bad film, and is in fact a very good film (it's # 17 on IMDB's top 250 films list, where it sticks out like a herpes sore in a nunnery), that it is really so awful."

Hwuh? Murtaugh doesn't like any of the performances in the film, certainly doesn't like Spacey, and also fails to give anything else than his unsupported opinion. I know some people who don't like the movie, and I can understand that. Hell, like whatever you want. The only sentence that actually tries to make a salient point comes at the end of his tirade:
    "I suppose that if Spacey is playing a Turkish master criminal struggling to keep his American accent intact while also spinning a web of lies for the cops, you might claim that he is playing a bad actor rather than just being one, but I don't buy it.

Okay, so we have a Turkish guy in the hospital who says that Spacey is the master criminal. Therefore Spacey must be Turkish? Not quite. I could list a half-dozen scenarios here to compensate for that, but frankly Murtaugh used poor induction to figure that one out.

When it comes down to it, Charles, it's not that you don't buy it, it's that you don't get it.

Matrix: Reloaded anti-rant later...
Baseball Trade
I normally don't follow baseball all that much, but this trade caught my eye. Kim is the pitcher who got rocked by the Yankees in the 2001 Championship series, when he was on the Devil Rays. I understand the reason for the Red Sox to acquire a solid pitcher, but for Christ's sake couldn't you have got a reliever who didn't have a history of blowing big games against the Yanks?

When you hear a great ‘whooshing’ sound, it will be the fans in Boston drawing a collective breath every time Kim comes to the mound to face the Yankees in relief.
Religion and Driver's Licenses
The first thing I saw on the internet this morning was this religion v. state story, and, as you might expect, my reaction was immediate.
    “I DON’T UNVEIL ... because it would be disobeying my Lord,” Freeman testified Tuesday at the start of her non-jury trial. Assistant Attorney General Jason Vail argued that having an easily identifiable photo on a driver’s license is a matter of public safety. “It’s the primary method of identification in Florida and the nation,” Vail said. “I don’t think there can be any doubt there is a public safety interest.” Freeman’s attorneys argue that state officials didn’t care that she wore a veil in her Florida driver’s license photo until after the Sept. 11, 2001, attacks, an allegation the state denies.

Well, the world has changed a lot since then. And, no one is forcing you to get a driver's license. I think this can be summed up with a scene from Caddyshack.
    Simone: I ain't payin' no 50 cents for no Coke!
    Danny: Ooooooh, then you ain't gettin' no Coke! Know what I'm sayin'?

Indeed, Danny, I do.

5.29.2003

Watchin' Movies on a Thursday Night
Yeah, I went a little hard last night, so I'm taking it easy on this particular day. For those of you who are worried I might not make it out tomorrow, please place your concern in a more appropriate location. I finally got around to renting Secretary, starring James Spader and Maggie Gyllenhaal. It won a prize at the 2002 Sundance Film festival for writing. Lion's Gate's (the distributor for the film) own synopsis of the film is rather bland and misleading:
    Lee Holloway (Maggie Gyllenhaal) has a few strikes against her when she applies for a secretarial position at the law office of E. Edward Grey (James Spader). Although she’s never had a job in her life, Lee is hired by the mysterious lawyer, Mr. Grey. At first the work seems quite normal – but soon, in between typing, filing and making coffee, Lee and Mr. Grey embark on a more personal relationship, crossing lines of conduct that would give any human resource director the vapors!

Sounds quirky and fun! Hell, my parents might even rent it from that description. And, frankly, even though I'm a Spader fan (especially Sex, Lies and Videotape for which he won a richly deserved Best Actor at Cannes, and Steven Soderbergh took away his first Palm D'or), the description didn't exactly have me panting at the ticket counter or impatient for its DVD release. It wasn't until I happened upon this trailer that I became intrigued.

Lee Holloway's "few strikes" include a recent trip to the mental hospital for self-mutilation (a condition she's been doing since 7th grade) and a severely dysfunctional family. The mysterious Mr. Grey is that way because he hides his fetishes just barely beneath his tense surface, one of which is being something of a sadist. Basically, this romantic comedy is about two people who embrace their fetishes through each other. Not exactly easy to write up to sell to the public, is it? Even the trailer only hints at the erotic S & M scenes, and they are there.

I loved this movie. The acting is clearly the strongest point of this movie, without which the premise might turn into some kind of farce. Both leads are superb, and I was quite moved by the end (no spoilers here, but how many 'romantic comedies' end up with an unhappy ending?).

And it is a comedy to boot. The brief scenes where Maggie goes in search of another dominator to replace Mr. Grey is a reminder that dating is doubly hard (and funny) when you know exactly the kind of spanking you want. One scene manages to turn a standard after sex encounter with Maggie (who is starting to embrace her masochist fantasies) and her boyfriend on its' head:
    Peter: Did I hurt you?
    Lee: (dejected) No.

This movie gets a big thumbs up. Now to watch the commentary and chow on Taco Bell.

5.23.2003

Matrix Pundit
My roommate pointed me to a couple of articles about Matrix: Reloaded that tackle the deeper meaning behind what we moviegoers saw in the film. His self-described "wild theory" about what really happened is actually something that I posited the night I saw the film to several witnesses. Only they will know that I SAID IT FIRST. Of course, I didn't say it with such verbosity as Phillip Winn, but then I have a day job.

As with me, Philip won't be sure until he can see the film again. Like any complex movie, Matrix: Reloaded practically demands that you see it twice to absorb it all. He describes his thoughts from second viewing here.

I highly recommend reading these articles after seeing the film -- they are chock full of spoilers. But read them nonetheless.

Update: Here is another excellent article.

5.22.2003

More Snippets from Resumes
Here's a few more quotes from resumes I've seen today:

    "Troubleshooting network problems, resulted from problems that the users have with the software that they have access to."
    "Constant interaction with the users, no matter how small the problem may seems."
    "Which consists of 20000 local and remote clients."
    "Assisted my supervisor in the development of new system images that had to be deployed."
    "In some cases of emergency, I was responsible for building the system image from a pre-configured CD-Rom."
    "Major: Computer Science & Electronics with a 2.5 G.P.A." (thanks for letting us know how crappy you did)

Sigh. This is a long day.
Resumes and More Resumes
Well, we've let some people go at the ol' company, and now we're sorting through a gaggle of resumes to fill the positions. You get all kinds of applicants, and last year I had to sort through 200 resumes and knock it down to about 10 candidates for review. In that time, I formulated my system for resume-dumping. Here are some rules I use:
  1. Short and to the point will get you past the trash can.
  2. Spelling or grammar errors of any kind will get you in the trash can. For god sakes get a buddy to proofread before you tell me about your 'compuper skills'. And switching tenses reminds me that I'm prone to do it in my own writing, and no one wants to be reminded of their own shortcomings.
  3. Your snazzy font will not impress me.
  4. Do not list work experience that has no relevance to the position at all (e.g., working at a Sunoco)
  5. For the love of Jebus, do not waste my time with a cover letter. If I see one, I'll trash the resume without even looking at it.

When you have oodles of resumes to go through, these rules will eliminate about 65% of the load very quickly. Now, it's not all pain and drudgery. Every now and then you come across a jem that makes your day. Below is a cover letter we received here for an open IT position. We cried laughing for two hours thanks to this poor soul. I've reprinted it verbatim. Enjoy.


    Dear Sir or Madam!

    I am applying for a position of a Network System Administrator .

    I am a mature , responsible, successful and ambitious. Even though I have just graduated from the University of DC, I have years of life experience behind me. I have received a Masters degree in international journalism froom The Moscow State University and a certificate in software applications from Bauman Technical College. I started working in the US in 1991 as a journalist.

    In the year 2000 I decided to switch careers and get an American degree in computer science. I enrolled in the University of the District of Columbia and after 2 years of full time stufy I earned an A.A. degree in computer science and graduated at the head of my class.

    I recognize that the University of The District of Columbia is not generally held in high esteem. However, I found my courses and teachers to be excellent. I feel that the UDC gave me the resources to be successful in the field of Information Technology.

    I have lived independently since I was 16.To support mycelf, while I was a student, I worked as a bartender at Washington DC restaurants and hotels.
    As you can see from my resume, I have always been hard working, my people skills are Excellent and I am driven to be successful in all that I undertake. I would appreciate an opportunity to interview for this position. Thank you for your consideration.
Master of the Obvious
Over the course of the last few months, I have encountered quite a few numbskulls who profess to have insight into certain movies which I hold dear. To their detriment, I'm afraid. Here are the prime examples:
    Person: (to me) Did you know that Neo is an anagram for "One"

Truly a stunning revelation. But, the chart topper was this cherry of a conversation with a guy I've known for quite some time, just this week, said in complete sincerity:
    HIM: You remember seeing Attack of the Clones?
    ME: Yes...
    HIM: You know that Senator guy? The old one?
    ME: You mean Palpatine?
    HIM: Yes! That's him. I'm telling you he's the evil one.
    ME: (pause) You mean the guy behind it all?
    HIM: Yes! Remember I told you this; he's the evil guy.
    ME: (pause, gurgle, pause, stare, pause, wonder if I left the iron on, pause, attempt heat vision, pause) Interesting.

For those of you who don't get the above blasphemous irony, for shame.

5.13.2003

Buffy Spoiler
Well, I woke up this morning to my usual room-service full American breakfast (I'm staying in a hotel outside of NYC for work purposes -- THAT is all you need know) and USA Today, only to find the most subtle of spoilers in the "Life" section of the paper. In it, there was a minor blurb down the page which gave a clue to who certainly won't be slain by the conclusion of Buffy the Vampire Slayer's last episode, airing next week.

For those of you who have read my critiques, you'd expect me to fly (or type) into some kind of rant regarding yet another 'spoiler', but this one had a mixed connotation, so I'm not really upset. Basically, this article notes that one of the main characters from Buffy will be joining the cast of Angel next season, which I'm very excited about. It's industry news, and the Angel series was kind of on the fence as to renewal status, so I can understand why they wouldn't wait to reveal the show's status. Plus, with Buffy gone, I will be refocusing my efforts toward the WB (again).

5.08.2003

Movie Recommendation: X-Men 2
Well, I finally got around to seeing X-Men 2: X-Men United last night, and by finally, I mean that I couldn't wait any longer than five days. Directed by Bryan Singer, this is the follow-up to the very good X-men from 2000. While I'm a fan of X-Men (I have a significant number of comics, including quite a few reviewed here, refered to by this villain), really I'm just biding my time waiting for Matrix Reloaded to come out on May 15. The most I was hoping for was that X2 would sate me long enough to get to the real show.

Boy was I surprised. My expectations were wildlyexceeded. This movie rocked. If you liked X-Men at all, you will love this one, which on a factor scale, is 5 times better than the first. I'm going to see it a few more times just to be sure.

With soliding casting, a good script, and voluminous special effects and action sequences, this is a good time in the theater, even if you aren't that familiar with the characters. Additionally, the performances added immeasureably to what could have been an emotionless action pic. Standout notes go to Aaron Stanford, Alan Cumming, and of course Hugh Jackman; more on them later.

Or maybe right now. Jackman is Wolverine. We got a glimpse of what happens when he gets into a near-bezerker rage, for which he's famous. He let's rip, and when I say that, I mean, unlike the first one, I have to go back and count the bodies left in his wake. Hugh has fun with the role, but is completely serious and believable at the same time. He's also the mutant who can have fun with mutant powers. In one scene, before drinking a soda, he hands it to Iceman to chill it. He sees the practical (if somewhat comical) applications to abilities immediately.

In what may be foreshadowing that James Marsden would not be reprising his role as Cyclops much longer, the screen time that ol' one-eye gets has been cut down significantly. I'd say that of the original characters, his part was the smallest. Still, he definitely kicked some ass while he was on screen.

Jean Grey's, character was kept busy as well as Storm's, each getting a chance to stretch their range of emotions. Patrick Stewart and Ian McKellan continued to flex their acting muscles in their roles. Nothing to say more than they all continued to pull their considerable weight.

Rogue develops her powers further, gaining enough control to have her first kiss (since she put her 'boyfriend' in a coma in the first movie) and further mimic the powers of whomever she has touched for a time (this time it's Iceman and Pyro.

However, the biggest upgrade from the first movie had to go to Mystique, who got a lot more screen time and a lot more to accomplish. She was empathetic, caustic, teasing, flirty, feisty, and naughty, many of which at the same time. There is a fabulous seduction scene in the film, where she reveals her potential as the ultimate fantasy sexual partner. "Who do you want me to be?" she asks, morphing her visage to tempt her target.

We get a no-so-welcome home from the family of Bobby Drake, a.k.a., Iceman, who finally 'comes out' to his parents (their reactions are rather mutaphobic, especially his brother), but gets to show his stuff a helluva lot more than just making snow cones. Pyro, played with just the right balance of attitude and vulnerability by Aaron Stanford, is a presence each time he's on screen (and I'm not talking about the fireballing). This kid, who was great in Tadpole, can, amazingly, hold his own with McKellan in a scene.

But I have to give the trophy for favorite character to, of course, Nightcrawler, who was given a lot of deserved screen time and a lot of 'bamfing'. His effects were amazing (the assault on the White House), and sometimes heartstopping (the rescue of Rogue), and at the end you did not feel you weren't given enough. Alan Cumming does a great job conveying Kurt's (his real name) range of emotions through the body makeup, making his character at times freighteningly dangerous and shyly endearing.

There were quite a few cameos of famous characters from the comics. The ones I recognized were Siryn, Jubilee, Beast, Colossus, and Kitty Pryde. Curiously, the ones who were called by name (Jubilee, Hank "Beast" McCoy) were the ones who didn't use their powers at all. Must be a tradeoff. Anyway, Colussus drew a cheer from the audience during his scenes, but Kitty's brief escape was better, although I could have sworn she was older in the original (I checked; they used a different actress who appears younger, but really they are about the same age).

For those of you salivating over Gambit, you have to be quick to notice his only 'appearance', which is his real name, Remy LeBeau, on a computer screen readout from a mutant database. The third X-Men movie would seem to be a perfect entry point for the popular cajun, with the burgeoning romance between Iceman and Rogue (in the comics, Gambit, who is a charming womanizer, has a romance with the never-can-be-touched Rogue).

Of course, comparing comics to movie isn't going to work perfectly. There are a lot of discrepancies between the two, as would be expected. As long as they keep the essence of the series intact, and Bryan Singer seems to have very successfully done that, that's what is important.

Notes: Although there are a few nit-picky plot points I have issues with, it would require me revealing spoilers about the plot to discuss here, and as I've mentioned before, I'm not gonna do it. Also, do not see the film if you haven't seen the first X-Men -- X2 starts right where X1 ended (i.e., there is very little exposition as to who these characters are and what they are doing, like Two Towers to Fellowship of the Rings).

PS. The Hulk's new trailer looked awesome.

5.06.2003

Looking Back at Empire -- 1980 Reviews

After I posted a short little rant yesterday about one critic's urge to reveal all the pertinent plot twists of the forthcoming Matrix sequel, Jaquandor talked about another recent spoiler. As many avid fans did in the early months of 1999, I perused the The Force.Net with daily glee, balancing my anticipation for the first Star Wars film in 16 years with a bit of trepidation. I didn't want to know anything too deep about the plot or get any data that might change my first-viewing experience. Yet, I was too tempted to turn down a picture of the back cover of The Phantom Menace Soundtrack. Needless to say, John Williams has a penchant for letting you know exactly what is happening in the movie in the track titles. I was extremely bummed. I had hoped to avoid knowing too much, but like a moth to the fire, I got burned.

Of course, my motivation for 'blind viewing' of the movie comes from my memories of The Empire Strikes Back, the best of the original trilogy (my counterpart will disagree -- he prefers Episode IV, and somehow thinks Return is underrated). I have very fond memories of that film, and remember being absolutely stunned when [highlight to read]Vader told Luke that he was his father [Note: though it is difficult to conceive that there are some people out there who don't know the plot twists of Empire yet, I'm not going to take any chances, especially since it would by hypocritical considering the topic.]. I don't care what anyone tells you, no one saw that one coming, and it was such a great surprise.

Today, thinking back to that time and correlating it to the Matrix, I wondered if any critics back then had the balls to reveal or even hint at the explosive (!) plot twists in Empire in their reviews. To that end, I started crawling around the internet looking for original reviews back from 1980. What I found was unexpectedly hilarious.

The Washington Post's review by Judith Martin is quite favorable, but retrospectively comical. While she gives the film an overall thumbs up, she displays an amazing amount of short-sightedness on the notion that this science-fiction series may someday have followers:
    "Its originator, George Lucas, has revealed that the two pictures are actually parts four and five of a nine-part sage, as if audiences will some day receive the total the way devotees now go to Seattle for a week of immersion in Wagner's complete Ring Cycle. Nonsense."

Of course, my favorite critique is this one, whose assertions are almost insulting:
    ""The Empire Strikes Back" has no plot structure, no character studies let alone character development, no emotional or philosophical point to make. It has no original vision of the future, which is depicted as a pastiche of other junk-culture formulae, such as the western, the costume epic and the Would War II movie. Its specialty is "special effects" or visual tricks, some of which are playful, imaginative and impressive, but others of which have become space-movie clich├ęs."

Remember, this is a positive review. I can't imagine what she would have said for a movie she really liked. I did note that, despite her disdain for the genre, she didn't spoil the movie in the review. Kudos for her. Obviously these days Judith is resting comfortably at Trembling Hills with a sedative drip.

Next, I came across a unfavorable review from that paragon of dimwittery, The New York Times. Vincent Canby was so befuddled by the fact that this was a 'middle movie' of a trilogy that he made it the central message of his review:
    "Strictly speaking, "The Empire Strikes Back" isn't even a complete narrative. It has no beginning or end, being simply another chapter in a serial that appears to be continuing not onward and upward but sideways. How, then, to review it?"

There are those who 'get it' and those who don't. Clearly, Vincent is master of the obvious. He is one of those people who criticized The Fellowship of the Ring because it had no resolution. What a rip-off (aside: there were actually people in the theater in DC who were shocked that the movie just 'ended', learning during the credits that there were two more)! However, once again, there was no spoiler. So, while Canby is still trying to master the opposable thumb, at least he ruined no one's fun.

Finally, I present an unequivocally positive review from another 1980 Washington Post reviewer, Gary Arnold. Mr. Arnold can barely contain his praises for the movie (the piece clocks in at over 3100 words), but you get the sense that he's the kind of person who can't wait to tell you all about the movie. Indeed, he talks about the entire film in sequence, barely avoiding a blow-by-blow accounting, while staying away from key spoilers. Well almost:
    "Deftly setting up new surprises in Episode VI, Kenobi laments, "That boy is our last hope." To which Yoda replies with a gleam in his eye, "No … there is another."

Yeah, thanks dickhead. At least he didn't reveal the central spoiler (although, I can easily picture this guy going around to parties and asking people who haven't seen it, "Oh, let me just say one line from the movie... [darth vader voice] Luke, I am your father!!!").

So, apparently critics haven't gotten any smarter or stupider over the years, they just are.

5.05.2003

Matrix Essays
I stumbled upon this site, dedicated to philosophising about all things Matrix. Worth a look.
Cliffhangers
I taped Alias last night, so don't tell me what happened. A man whose affinity for the dark side is well documented has posted an interesting piece on the types seen in shows and movies.

5.02.2003

Emotional Maturity -- A Defense of Anakin
I watched Attack of the Clones last night in a light I had not seen previously. I've seen the movie many times before, but I had always seen the scene (boy that sounds bad) between Anakin and Amidala (when they are alone together on her planet, with the fire blazing in the background) with a certain uncomfortableness. As most astute viewers, I attributed Anakin's awkward emotive speech to his youth and inexperience. You, as the viewer, are meant to feel the same trepidation as Padme does; he does not know how to tame nor express his feelings, and she naturally shies away from it.

I grew up in a loving family, but I've always felt apart, whether it is from my own shyness or the English-type upbringing. For me, it was always the hug-and-kiss for my mother, and the handshake for my father. We hardly ever discussed personal problems or any kind of intimacy within the family. I don't blame my parents for this, nor do I think it's bizarre; I've always been a rather elusive person, and would prefer to spend many an evening in my room writing or reading or listen to music as opposed to joining my parents in the 'family room' watching TV. This is not to say that I don't have a bond with my parents, but I've always felt uncomfortable sharing feelings with someone I'm not deep friends or intimate with (yes, I'm ending that sentence with a preposition, so sue me).

Watching that scene, where Anakin just pulls out his feelings and hands them over to Padme in the most basic way he can, I can't help but sympathize with his actions, and have admiration for the writing that has gone, for the most part, maligned. He's done what I would have in that situation (minus ten years or so and some wicked cool powers). Anakin is overwhelmed with emotion, and his is very inexperienced of how to feel, and very ignorant of how to deal with it. I, myself, have felt the strong pull of that fervor, and it is such that I can empathize and understand how he is dealing with it. I'm not saying that he is being rational (which he admits he cannot) or correct; I'm saying that I've been there, where logic and reason mean nothing in the face of raw emotion and hormones. I've been in that frame of mind. In retrospect it is scary to me that all that I know, all that I have learned in all my years could be rendered impotent by the swaying of chemicals and lovelorn thoughts. Hormones and emotions are truly powerful things, as I'm sure we'll see when they take a dark turn in Episode III.

I probably could have been better prepared for this growing up, but I don't second-guess my upbringing for a second. I'm happy with who I am and who I want to be still. However, I'm still uncomfortable with people getting close to me, and I guess I will be until I meet the person who can break down the walls that hurdle my insecurities that I've had since I can remember.

One day, when I got good and drunk, I gave my dad a hug, and I felt him physically recoil, embarrassed. There is a line I can't cross, but I don't want to be that reclusive, bottled-up person forever. I hope, unlike Anakin, that I won't turn it to anger, fear, agression. I hope.

Have a great weekend, y'all.