9.30.2004

I say "JoePa" you say "Terno-ver"
While it certainly can be said that turnovers have been the Penn State's achillies heel this season, we took a bigger blow this past weekend in our loss to Wisconsin, 16-3 with key injuries.

We lost both our starting quarterback, Zack Mills, and his backup and our best flanker, Michael Robinson, within the span of the 1st quarter. Although this left our offense impaired for the rest of the game, we still managed to stay close. Even closer if it wasn't for those pesky turnovers. Our defense plays tough, but it's clear that if we are going to win any more games this season, we're going to need these guys back. The status of our guys from Paterno's mouth:
    Michael Robinson…when you get knocked out they have to proceed you to where it is going to take at least a week or two. He will not play this week. I talked to Dr. Wayne Sebastianelli and he said it may be three or four weeks before he will be cleared. Zack Mills was out yesterday and we told him to take it easy, but he is optimistic that he might be able to go this week. It is not his throwing arm. It is the other arm. He had a partial separation. I think they think they can strap it up and the whole bit, but if there is any danger, we won’t use him. Our medical people as I think most of you know from past experiences, are very conservative and they are going to think about the kids’ future before we do anything foolish. There is a chance that Zack might be ready this week.
Not too promising, especially playing in Minnesota. Those of you who say the hit on Robinson may have thought it flagrant. When asked about it, Paterno gave his standard 'yes' answer:
    Don’t get me into that, OK? I think all of you saw the game on television and if not probably had a chance to look it over. I think you can make your own decision on that.
Probably the biggest question, or accusation I've heard over the last few weeks is about Paterno himself. Mostly random fans (although a few PSU fans have spoken about it) are focused on Joe's age and whether he is competent to coach anymore. Now, most of these people haven't watched all the games, so they are just reading the party line, but one must consider age as a factor. I haven't seen anything in the 3 games that lead me to believe Joe isn't as competent as he was 10 years ago, when we went undefeated (and should have won the national championship but it was given to Nebraska because Osborne was retiring). I happen to agree with Joe's assessment of where they are at:
    Too many things are happening to us. I really thought we were ready for both Boston College and Wisconsin. Boston College was up there and we were all fired up. This game we go up there and we get banged up people in the first quarter, which changed everything we were going to do offensively. You have to change it. You have to be careful. Sometimes things just don’t go your way. If you start changing just for the sake of changing, you end up going backwards. We just have to hang in there and get better. It is as simple as that.
Change for change's sake isn't the way to go. Our team is making mental mistakes, and getting some really bad breaks. I honestly felt our team played better in the loss than when we beat Central Florida two weeks ago. We're getting better slowly, but the breaks are killing us.

If you want to see some bad coaching, all you needed to do was watch the timeout management from the Monday Night Football game. Poor timeout management left the Redskins with none left when they desperately could have used one in the waning moments of the game (an extra timeout would have given them a shot at a game-tying 37-yard field goal). However, the game's most baffling call came with 12 seconds left at the half, on a Redskins 3rd-and-goal from the 1. By using their last timeout with so little time, Joe Gibbs virtually told Parcells (and everyone watching) that he was going to throw the ball on 3rd down. Sure enough, when Mark Brunell rolled out from the play-fake, he found himself staring at two charging Dallas linebackers and 5 defensive backs covering their two receivers. They read the play! Parcells is a genius!!

At the very least, I shouldn't be hearing any shit from Redskins fans about Paterno anymore.

9.22.2004

You, like your VCR tapes before you, are now... MINE
I have come out from under the blanket of my overworked, underpaid self to broadcast some shocking news: yes, I did purchase the Star Wars DVD trilogy. I have only watched two extra features so far (and none of the films yet): the feature-length documentary and the Episode III preview (naturally).

If the digitally enhanced films live up to the documentary, this is going to be one great box set. There were all kinds of tidbits and insights in the making of the film, and every living castmember spoke about their roles and the experience. There are too many details to recount, so I'll just name a few that struck me as exceptional. I knew that Star Wars was made on a tight budget, and all the technology had to be invented for the film, but I never realized just how close the film came no not being completed. Lucas took over so much of the filmmaking process himself that he suffered from hypertension and stress, and was warned that he would have a heart attack if he continued apace. The man, through sheer force of will and genius, made this film happen.

The other was the story of the directoral choice for Return. At the time of A New Hope's release, the showing of credits at the end of the film was unheard of, and finable by various film industry unions. For that movie, they let it go just that once. However, as you know, Empire followed in the same mold, which set off a firestorm of pedantic complaining by the unions. They (the Directors Guild, Screenwriters Guild, etc.) to start fining Lucas and Kershner (the director, also a former professor under which Lucas studied) for the egregious transgression. Lucas felt he was being persecuted (can anyone blame him?) and quit him membership in the above two clubs. Unfortunately, this decision made it impossible for him to get his first choice for director of Return, his pal, Steven Spielberg. Had it not been for industry nitpickery, who knows what kind of movie Return would have been. Instead, Lucas chose Marquand to direct, whose inexperience with special effects shooting led Lucas to come down and supervise every single shot for half the film. We'll never know, but in my humble opinion (certain to be countered by Jaquandor), a great opportunity was missed to make this film better.

Lastly, I should note that it is good to have friends who run theaters. One such person has been showing late night (i.e., 10:30pm) presentations of old films in the Old Town theater. About four weeks ago, this person came up to me and asked what I think would draw a crowd to see at one of these late night showings. I nearly spit out my drink. So, at my suggestion, this Thursday they are going to show Empire, fresh off the DVD and in dolby digital on the big screen. Can you say titillated?

9.03.2004

Parry, thrust
While this may be of no interest to those who don't know both of us, I have decided to comment on every single of the 100 things about Jaquanorhe posted, just to be spiteful. And only spiteful. Okay, I just felt like it. Below are his declarations, and in italics are my comments:

1. I enjoy very sharp cheddar cheese. I have shipped to my location in DC "New York Sharp Cheddar Cheese Spread", which I grew up on in NY. I consider it to be the greatest cheese in the world, and NO ONE who has ever tasted it down here would disagree.
2. My devotion to the Buffalo Bills knows no bounds. Mine does. I spent a lot of time in Philly, and my father is from there. Thus, I have an allegiance to the Eagles which is comparable. However, should these two teams play in the Superbowl, I would have to root for the Bills. But only barely.
3. Neither does my hatred of the New England Patriots. I share no such hatred. I only hate Nebraska and Miami (college teams, but my vitriol can be palpably noticed when the former is mentioned in ANY scenario).
4. To this day I remember screaming "NOOOO!" when Scott Norwood's kick went wide-right. I remember only that my brother put his fist through a wall after that.
5. Jim Kelly is my favorite Buffalo Bill. Mine is Joe Ferguson, who still holds the record for least interceptions in a season (1).
6. Closely followed by Thurman Thomas. Closely followed by Jim Kelly.
7. I am a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, although this passion is mostly dormant since the franchise is on its fourth rebuilding phase since their last winning season, in 1992. I've always been a Pirates fan, because (a) they were the closest baseball francise to Allegany, NY, (2) because a lot of friends and cousins grew up there, and (3) because I saw my first major league game at 3 Rivers.
8. It amazes me that in the annals of dumb sports deals, the Pirates' signing of Andy Van Slyke to a multi-year deal that left them unable to keep Barry Bonds around is never mentioned. :In retrospect, this does seem dumb.
9. I detest the Atlanta Braves.Ditto
10. The best moment of each baseball season is when someone knocks the Braves out of the playoffs.Clouded by hatred. I think it is the latter days of the pennant race.
11. If there is a modern-day Faust, his name is "Francisco Cabrera". No comment.
12. I enjoy walking with my personal CD player.I just got an iPod, and it is fabulous. 20 years ago I never dreamed that I could hold my entire (>300 CDs) collection in my hand.
13. I genuinely believe that Buffalo would be the finest place in the United States if the city and region would get its collective head out of its ass. Haven't spent enough time to know. I love the DC Metro area. Always have, and it started when I first visitied when I was 7. I remember being awed by the 4-lane beltway (coming from a town that has a 2-lane highway in some remote stretches, and is never crowded). Plus, it is very lush.
14. I adore chicken wings. Ditto
15. My favorite mixed drink is the sloe gin fizz. Jack and Coke, baby.
16. I haven't had a sloe gin fizz in more than ten years.It's been 1 hour for me.
17. My favorite wine is Cockburn's Ruby Port.N/A
18. I used to be able to drink a six pack of beer in a night.I can, but I get sleepy. Contrarily, I can drink enough J&C to cripple your average human in a night and still function nominally
19. Now a six pack will last up to a month in my fridge. I don't want to even go into how much Jack I put away a month.
20. I flirted a bit with Jack Daniel's in college and briefly after. (An unfortunate night before a wedding – no, not my own – ended the Jack Daniel's experiment.) I used to drink beer until I discovered the nice buzz that J&C delivered when I was 22. After that, it's tough to go back.
21. I drink Diet Pepsi constantly. I drink water constantly, due to (1)I had kidney stones when I was 25, (2)I work out a lot and it's healthy to do, (3) I sweat more than the average person, and (4) the best prevention/cure for a hangover is hydration.
22. I am crazy about baked pasta dishes.My current fetish is Baja Fresh's 'Burrito Ultimo with sour cream. Kicks Chipotle's ass.
23. I also have entirely too healthy a love for fried food. I do not.
24. My sweet tooth knows little bounds. Mine does not. Never been that big a fan of sweets.
25. I don't like broccoli. Fool. I used to not like it, but my taste buds have evolved. To a higher state of supremacy, one might say.
26. My favorite ethnic cuisine is Chinese. Italian.
27. The ethnic cuisines I feel guiltiest about not trying are Indian and Thai. Guilt? I want my pain, I need my pain!!! Khan!!!! Khan!!!!
28. I was born in Pittsburgh. I was born in Olean General Hospital in NY on July 20, 1971 at 11:22 P.M.
29. By the time my family settled in Western New York, I had lived in eight houses in four states (Pennsylvania, Oregon, Wisconsin and West Virginia). See number 28.
30. My first day of school in sixth grade was only the second time I started a school year at the same school as the year before. LIE (see below).
31. I have known Matt Jones longer than anyone else in my life, except for my immediate family members. True, as well as for me, although I have not SEEN Mr. Sedinger since 1989. He continues to be the most intriguing writer I've known, and I take his opinion on things I've written (when I do write, I send it to him for appraisal and feedback first and primarily) since 4TH GRADE.
32. I met Matt Jones in 1981, in Mr. DiSorbo's class. It was fourth grade, dammit, and it was a play called "How the Elves Saved Christmas". Thankfully, all evidence was destroyed, and key witnesses decided to wait for the civil trail to give their testimony.
33. Living in New York, I decided to attend college in Iowa. By fate (read: my father was promoted and moved to Philly prior to my senior year of high school), I attended Penn State. I loved it.
34. I had to constantly explain to people here that Iowa's where corn comes from, not potatoes. Really?
35. So my wife's family lives in Idaho, of course, having moved there from Iowa during her freshman year. I have no wife, although my girlfriend lives in North Carolina.
36. My wife is a year older than I. My girlfriend is 10 years younger than I.
37. My wife proposed to me, not vice-versa. (In my defense, I already had her ring on order and was going to do the honors when the thing came in. Curse you, jewelry department at the Walden Galleria JCPenney!)No comment!!!!!
38. The engagement ring is an emerald. To this day, I have not given my wife a diamond. I have not given anyone a diamond. I write letters (mostly hand-written) montly and send flowers. Go ahead and vomit if you must. [Kelly, this is where all my writing time has been going!]
39. I consider this a colossal failing on my part. For shame! Sentiment and sincere love trumps any DeBeers campain.
40. I have, though, personally provided her with a starting collection of five porcelain dolls, whose combined price would have equaled that of a small diamond. See above.
41. Our wedding bands are Claddagh rings that we had altered thusly: my ring bears my wife's birthstone, and her ring bears mine. No comment.
42. I was unaware until just a couple of months ago that I was wearing my Claddagh ring incorrectly, and thus signaling my availability to the women of the world. Cad!
43. Somehow, the women of the world have proven impervious to the effects of an incorrectly-aligned Claddagh ring upon my finger. Fate!
44. My sister is an English professor in Colorado. Mine is not.
45. My father is a Mathematics professor in New York. Mine is a retired mechanical engineer, aged 82, who can still kick my ass in tennis and is the smartest man I've ever met.
46. My mother is a retired librarian.My mother used to work for the Bank of New York. And she raised me.
47. So is my aunt, and so was my grandmother. Too many aunts to list here, and my two grandmothers were homemakers.
48. My favorite movie is Star Wars. Casablanca.
49. I hated Star Wars the first time I saw it. Seeing Star Wars in the theater with my father is the first solid memory I have. And I loved it.
50. In my defense, I was five and it was really the first non-Disney type thing I'd ever seen, and I didn't know what to make of it. I credit my sister with turning me around.51. I didn't see Casablanca until after my freshman year of college. Young fool. Now only at the end so you understand.
52. The first time I saw Casablanca, I didn't quite understand the fuss. See above.
53. The second time I saw Casablanca, I was totally and completely engrossed. See above.
54. I once went nine weeks where every Sunday evening I watched Casablanca. No regiment involved. I didn't have to make up for my younger foolishness.
55. At various times in my life, I have been able to claim the following as "my favorite TV show": Happy Days, Diff'rent Strokes, Star Trek, Dallas, The X-Files, The West Wing, Friends, and Once and Again. Magnum, P.I., Star Trek:TNG, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
56. I was so little attuned to television during my college years that Twin Peaks had been canceled by the time I heard of it. Sad. We used to sit around on Thursday nights and watch it my freshman year at State.
57. I grew my hair long partially as a rebellion against my mother, who resolutely insists that all men should have short hair and made sure that mine was so for my entire youth. I got sick of it., I had long hair (not as long as Jaquandor -- I can't stand long hair in back) in college, but as I grew older (i.e., by the time I was 25!) I trimmed it because in the professional world it looks bad. Plus, later on my hair grew a littel thin. Now, if my hair gets to 3/4 inch, it's long.
58. I had a beard in college, mostly out of laziness to avoid shaving. I made little effort to keep it trimmed, so I looked like hell. For two weeks, I did the same. Beard hair on the pillow is just irritating.
59. I decided to try the beard again when I joined The Store. N/A
60. It bugs me that in the wake of the Lord of the Rings movies, the long-haired-and-bearded look has not come back into fashion. Where???
61. But then, my own fashion sense has always trended toward "questionable". See above.
62. For instance, I have bought no new clothes except for the occasional t-shirt and black pants for work at The Store in nearly five years. See above.
63. I wear shorts all winter, if I can. I used to do this, and I made it a point to wear shorts at PSU every day, even in winter of 1989. Walking was something very chilly, but leg hair cannot be underestimated for its warmth.
64. I prefer overalls to blue jeans. (More comfortable.) Never worn them. Look good on chicks, though.
65. I have never owned a pair of Levi's. Ditto.
66. The two pairs of jeans I currently own are Old Navy and St. John's Bay, respectively. GAP. Five pairs.
67. I think that neckties are the most colossally stupid article of clothing ever devised. This coming from a guy who loves overalls should be expected. I own 35 ties, and I wear them frequently, even when out at bars for no reason than to be spiffy. So there.
68. (But I know that my opinion on that score would differ greatly were I a woman, and thus required to contend with the high heel, the underwire, and the gamut of goofy crap they have to put up with.) No comment. At all.
69. I start to sweat when it's seventy-three degrees out. Ditto!
70. The idea of living anyplace where the average number of days above ninety degrees in a year exceeds the number of fingers on my hands makes me nauseous. Ditto! I'm not sure if it is genetics or that you are used to your climate. I will say that when we have hot spells in DC (and they have infrequent this year), the first day always seems much harsher than the last.
71. Frank admission time: I actually liked the Pepsi commercial Britney did, when she appeared in several different "decades". MOVE OVER BRITNEY!!!
72. I love David Letterman, and I love him most when he's at his most sarcastic and rude. Ditto.
73. The earliest music I remember ever hearing is John Denver's "Country Roads" and Neil Diamond's "Song Sung Blue". For me, still the opening track from Star Wars.
74. I have a soft spot for "I Write the Songs" by Barry Manilow. If we are talking about cheesy songs, it has to be "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" from Butch Cassidy.
75. I am horribly uneducated about rock music of the 1990s, especially "alternative rock". I am an expert.
76. My favorite 1990s song is "Stay" by Lisa Loeb. PFFT! Too many to list, and too many to think about. The early 90's was the heyday of alt-rock, and today's 'alt-rock' sucks. Don't try to dispute this. Anything empassioned from Weezer or Radiohead in the 90's will do.
77. So many love songs, so little time. Ditto.
78. I was a trumpet player for a long time, but I allowed that aspect of my life to go by the wayside when writing became more of a focus and outlets for trumpet playing became fewer. Clarinet, then piano, then guitar, then singer. As I got further indepent from my parents, the more I did what I wanted. To this day, hearing a singer's voice crack over a passionate lyric will hook me.
79. I am probably the only trumpet-knowledgeable person on Earth who does not care for Wynton Marsalis's trumpet playing. (There's just something about his tone that I don't like.) Too ignorant to comment.
80. I'm also not a fan of Rolf Smedvig. Too ignorant to comment.
81. My favorite trumpet soloists are Maurice Andre and Hakan Hardenburger. Too ignorant to comment.
82. My trumpet playing hero, though – the guy I tried to emulate in my approach – was Adolph "Bud" Herseth, who held the Principal Trumpet chair in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra (thus being the "concertmaster" of the world's greatest orchestral brass section) for fifty years. Too ignorant to comment.
83. My alma mater (Wartburg College) has a long-standing rivalry with Adolph Herseth's alma mater (Luther College). PSU's rival, no matter what conference they are in, will always be, to me, Miami (FL).
84. The first James Bond movie I saw was Moonraker. Dr. No. It was on TV, and I liked it, although I didn't appreciate it as I do now.
85. My worst habits are either my eating (which has gotten a lot better over the last few years, although there's a long way to go) or my tendency to swear like a sailor (I've made substantial inroads on this as well). I am shocked! I've don't recall Jaquandor swearing. My worst habits are binge drinking and cigarettes. Regarding drinking, however, I think of it as an activity, e.g., I don't drink when I eat, and I don't have a few when I come home from work. I'm either doing it or I'm not. And sex, I must admit.
86. I've never been in a car accident, as of this writing. 1. Very minor.
87. I believe that people who don't tip the pizza delivery person are rude snots who deserve to have their pizza loogie'd upon. Who doesn't?
88. The first person who figured out that pork tastes good may have been the greatest person in history. And thus signaled the downfall of the pig as a trusted pet?
89. My first vote in a Presidential election was cast by absentee ballot for Bill Clinton in 1992. Ha. Never voted. I didn't care enough in the early 90's (when I was democratic leaning!), and since I moved to the District (95), it hasn't mattered, since this place is 88% democrat traditionally. Bad attitude, for sure, but here my vote won't make a bit of difference.
90. I strongly prefer cats to dogs. Dogs are cooler, but I love animals.
91. Somehow, I've never developed a habit of reading The Onion. Fool!
92. The Simpsons was in its fifth season when I started watching it. Third season. That's when it started to get good.
93. My college graduation present from my parents was a Persian kitten that I named Jasmine. A 1992 Dodge Shadow. There's a funny story behind it, but not for here.
94. Jasmine died in summer of 2002. I assume this is the cat, as opposed to the character on "Angel".
95. I have a fairly weak sense of smell. Of the five senses, the one I would lose the first is this one. I love smell, and it is tied to memory, but it's no big deal if I don't have to be repulsed by a passing dumptruck or vomit in the bathroom or bad breath.
96. I adore cold weather. Ditto. I love summer and the beach, but too hot repulses me. Winter is such a glorious time.
97. October is my favorite month. Don't have one, but hard to argue with that.
98. Purple is my favorite color. Green.
99. I love red-headed women. Does anyone not?
100. My wife does not have red hair. I love blondes and redheads, but every significant woman I've ever dated has been brunette. Make your own theories.
101. I love science museums; the more "push the button and watch something happen" displays, the better. Dork. I love them too, but it will be forever tempered by the memory of my father taking my to the Franklin Instituate in Philly, when he proceeded to quiz my on why the physics shows would really be happening. This is when I had just completed my engineering degree. Holy pressure.
102. The best science museum I have been in on a substantial visit is the Ontario Science Centre in Toronto.Air and Space Museum, DC. Been to Smithsonian, too, but seeing the Star Wars exhibit was wonderful.
103. I've been to Chicago's Science Museum, which has an unbelievable reputation, but only twice. The first time, I was four; the second time was on a college band tour, and we only got something like three hours there. N/A.
104. Of the American states to which I have never visited, the one I most want to visit is Alaska. Hawaii, followed by Montana.
105. Of the American states to which I have never visited, the one I least want to visit is Connecticut. (I'm sure there's wonderful stuff in Connecticut. I just know nothing about it whatsoever.) Been to Connecticut on I-95. My friend Gary and I joked on the trip the slogan of CT should be "CT, you'll be here longer than you think!" Otherwise, I'd say Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures.
106. The places I most want to see abroad are Britain, Scandinavia, Japan, and Olympus Mons on Mars. Everest, somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, Antartica, Jupiter (can you tell I like remote places? I love that feeling of nothingness and vastness. When I go to the beach I love to stare out at the ocean -- especially at night -- and think about how little we are compared to the power and enormity of the universe).
107. I can't stand those artificial social events that companies insist on inflicting upon their employees these days, and I totally clam up at such functions. And how! I hate 'team building exercises'.
108. I tend to come off as something of a cold fish upon first meeting. Depends on my mood. In general I'll be very cold and guarded, but sometimes I've overly silly and outgoing (mostly read as cock or obnoxious). If you can't stand me after two meetings, it's you, not me.
109. My sense of humor can be very biting at times. I am dry and spastic (!), to the point where there are people who will 'get me' and completely understand my humor, and those who just think I'm an ass. Both have a case.
110. I have the sneaking suspicion that my long-time readers already know all of this stuff, and that my newer readers are not about to read all this stuff. I can't belive I'm up till 4 doing this.
111. Exeunt. Ditto

8.12.2004

It's resume time again...
And you know that means it's time for unintentionally hilarious resume submissions. Our IT staff is very short-handed, due to simultaneous office expansion and employee truncation, so everyone here is sorting through resumes for the 5 or 6 jobs we have available. As we have multiple projects going on (not to mention 2005 budgets, which I'm handling), the sorting process, as I wrote about last year, has been accelerated.

I have on my wall what I consider to be the worst cover letter ever, and there have been no contenders to the throne (not even one where an applicant addressed our male CEO as "Ms."). However, a recent desktop technician's resume was brought to my attention for serious review. My colleagues were thinking of adding him to the phone-interview pool, but I vetoed it, based on one single missing letter. I don't mean a missing cover letter or mailed envelope. I mean a missing letter in one sentence on an otherwise spotless resume. Here is the sentence; see if you can find the missing letter:
    "Eager to learn, self-starter, diligent and through."
You know, I might have let this one slide, but this guy chose the exact wrong sentence for a misspelling. I'm sure he is very thorough in everything he does. Except, of course, on work which may reflect his competency or be important. If he can't find the time to be thorough about a piece of paper that might get him hired, I can't see how he's going to be any better here.

And, while I laugh at this poor fool's expense, I'm tempted to email him to let him know of his error. I feel bad for his plight. But, like him, I'm not going to follow up because I'm through.

8.11.2004

I'm... too sexy for my name
Either scientists have a lot of time on their hands, or some reporters are just killing for a story. Turns out that your name's sound has a sexy quality:
    Men with “front vowels” in their names — sounds formed at the front of the mouth like the “a” in Matt — were considered sexier than men with “back vowel” sounds like the “au” in Paul, she concluded.
I'm a little confused, since my first name conflicts with my middle. I will vouch for the non-sexy quality of Paul, mostly because anytime I hear the name, it's usually together with the first in the form of outrage (i.e., my mother getting angry: "Matthew Paul Jones!!!!").

Alas, for Jaquandor, the news is not as good:
    But men who might be thinking of taking more feminine names to become sexier should be careful not to go too far: Men with women’s names were rated least sexy of all.

7.30.2004

Kerry is a New England Patriot!
This morning it was pointed out to me that John Kerry looks a lot like Andrew Jackson. See for yourself here. The similarity is so striking that perhaps he is the reincarnation of the former president, and he has come back from the dead to reclaim his throne. Or something.

Other comparisons have been made, notably his resemblance to the New England Patriot logo. Naturally, this would cause some people to have schisms. There is no other purpose here.

7.29.2004

Movie Speeches
In keeping with today's theme of "all play and no work makes Matt a literate boy", Jaquandor found a site which is dedicated to speeches. Notably, for me, it even has a section for speeches made in movies, and their sound clips.

It's a pretty good list. I supposed I shouldn't be shocked that one movie isn't mentioned at all for its famous rules explanation clip. I am, of course, referring to Fight Club (the clip is here, FYI).

However, I was glad to see my favorite two speeches appear, both from the same movie. They are done back-to-back in the underrated classic, Other People's Money. Two charismatic leaders, played by the late Gregory Peck and Danny Devito, spar off in a stockholder's meeting debate, presenting both sides of a potential company buyout with wit, wisdom, and poignancy. If nothing else, it's an education into what stocks are all about. Listen or read Peck's first, and then the finale. Obey.
Two Cents for Six Titles
Not to be confused with Two Mules for Sister Sara -- great flick, that. No, this is about the recent title release of the sixth and last Star Wars film in the saga, Revenge of the Sith. Exciting times, these -- nowhere else will you get as much hype and anticipation over the title of a film that won't be out for 294 days (estimated). Nor has there been as much angst about title choices. I've been alive and conscious for every title announcement, and, the classic trilogy included, this is the first time that a title has been, more-or-less, universally praised.

I have this CNN video-clip of Ewan McGregor's (with Nicole Kidman) reaction to the naming of Episode II, and it is priceless. I don't have a link to it anymore, but here's a transcription:
    INTERIOR: RED-CARPET LINE

    EWAN and NICOLE are at a Moulin Rouge promo. A reporter is in mid-interview.

    REPORTER
    Ewan, did you hear the title for the new Star Wars movie?

    EWAN
    Yes, yes I did!

    NICOLE (to Ewan)
    What is it?

    EWAN
    It's called 'Attack of the Clones'.

    NICOLE takes a beat to absorb this. Then:

    NICOLE (disbelief)
    No!

    EWAN (nearly bursting into laughter)
    It is!

    They look at each other and laugh.

Not too good when you have the actors in the film reacting that way. The reaction was different for The Phantom Menace; not so much ridicule as confusion. It didn't sound like a Star Wars title. Another criticism was it was too confusing and vague of a title -- what did it mean? Ironically, this was in tune with what happens in the movie.

Even the vaunted Empire Strikes Back was ridiculed for its Saturday-afternoon-matinee cheeseball title. It hardly even seems like the title could be questioned these days. [As for the original, hardly anyone (who wasn't a fan) even knew the real title of the film, so that one doesn't apply here.] Return of the Jedi was originally titled Revenge of the Jedi (see below), but realizing that emotion wouldn't be part of being a Jedi (rightly so), Lucas changed it a few months before the premiere. Fans liked the more menacing 'Revenge' title because it sounded cooler, and there was a lot of negative fan response. Now, two decades later, they finally get their wish.

The Force.Net noticed that ESPN this week, on the Daily Quickie, ranked the top 5 Star Wars names as thus:
    Empire Strikes Back: How gutsy to use for a sequel
    Revenge of the Sith: How nasty does THAT sound?
    Attack of the Clones: Meant what it said
    Return of the Jedi: Originally “Revenge”
    A New Hope: How innocent it was!
In keeping with this ranking, and looking for something to do on this slow work day, here's the REAL rankings:
  1. Return of the Jedi: Even though the film isn't my favorite, I think it's a great title. Snappy, accurate, and bonus points for having the word 'Jedi' in it.
  2. Revenge of the Sith: I agree with the fan reactions; sounds bad ass. Much better than 'Birth of the Empire' would have been. Plus, 'Sith' factor.
  3. The Empire Strikes Back: Classic and menacing. Like 'Sith', you know it's going to be a dark film.
  4. The Phantom Menace: I admit it. I like the title. But not good enough to beat any of the big three. It's only just a bit better than...
  5. Attack of the Clones: Because Ewan McGregor has ruined it for me. Love the movie, but I can't say the title without sometimes slipping into his Scottish accent. And giggling.
  6. A New Hope: Limp.
And that's the way it is.

AND ANOTHER THING: Just in time to capitalize on the frenzy of the title release, the official site is offering a Revenge of the Sith t-shirt, styled in the same manner as the rare Revenge of the Jedi t-shirts that were distributed in 1982 before the title was changed. Please don't order me one; it's already on the way ;). DORK ALERT!!
Audience Reaction
One of the things that writers need is feedback. It is invaluable to know that someone has read and liked (or disliked -- aghast) what you have put out there, but even more so when those people give you some kind of usable responses. Not only is it part of the learning process, but, moreso, it's kinda cool. Blogging or writing scripts or books (I know, I know -- I slack) are ostensibly to post opinions, witticisms, and stories for reader consumption. But without getting something back, I might as well put them in a diary and lock them away. And then you'd be sorry.

Yesterday's little post about Obama (truthfully, I'd never even heard the name until Jaquandor's post), elicited a couple of interesting comments from my friends. And I know where they both live. Needless to say, they both got me thinking. They both made party-line criticisms (which is not to discount them) about my rather silly political post. I really had no intention of making a political statement, but rather an observation that related to a film (which, of course, is the only way I interact successfully with society).

Firstly, the "roommate" (whose identity is as well kept a secret as our president's middle initial) said:
    I get your point and I think it's legitimate... provided the president doesn't rely on weak/exaggerated intelligence to justify dragging the country into a war he "believes is right". To put it plainly - does the end justify the means?
Firstly, the term 'dragging' should be applied to those who share that point-of-view, and not necessarily this country in which millions others of us don't believe we were 'dragged'. The intelligence, which was shared with all the member of congress and the allies, was enough for our legislature to vote yes to invading Iraq way back in 2002. Even so, mere intelligence isn't enough to prompt a full-scale invasion of another country. There has to be higher objectives and/or perceived threats to commit a nation to this level of interaction. (If you want to read a good summary overall, go here.) I think the disagreement you present is based on your perception of our administration's agenda.

I am guessing that you (and many others) perceive the Bush administration as doing this for either a war-mongering or daddy-revenge reason, and I (and others, again) perceive it in strategic terms. I take this as a difference in belief and perception, such as how one could see Hillary Clinton as a 'spurious bitch' and others see her as a great woman ;). As with all things, our views are greatly influenced by our preconceived notions or biases. I don't like Hillary. You don't like Bush. Fair enough on both counts. These biases will hinder our abilities to appreciate a more logical view, just as those who can't see all the intricacies and beauty in Attack of the Clones because they don't want to or they don't get it (must have at least one movie reference!). Of course, I may be judged insane by those who can't stand the prequels, but therein is another example of the prejudicial difference. Blathering aside, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree. But more to the point: You can't encapsulate a complex issue with a tidy sound-bite, such as 'ends justify the means', without missing a helluva lot in the expurgation.

As for Jaquandor's quote, well, you just suck. Kidding. He said:
    Not wishing to get into a whole debate on the war in Iraq, I think you're completely missing Obama's point. The film is talking about fighting the political fights, whereas Obama was referring to a very common criticism of the Iraq effort (and one with which I agree): that the military commitment was not sufficient to the task at hand.
Kelly here does indeed hit on a key point. I was making a very loose comparison from a quote that was out of context, and I knew it. It just reminded me of the movie-line, and I thought it interesting to compare two liberal speeches that had different points about similar things. As to the amount of men or commitment, I'm not too familiar with that critique. Do we need more troops? More artillery? Last I checked, we had been fighting terrorist insurgents, not armies, for the last year, and I don't think that an extra 10,000 men would matter in that scenario. If what you are talking about is a longer commitment to stay and ensure the democracy of Iraq, then I agree. To stop now or fall short would be disasterous. No war is ever perfect, and changes are always made in process. The effort can be criticized with 20/20 hindsight wisdom (fairly or unfairly), and the history books yet to be written will have their final say. This criticism doesn't seem like much of a political one as a military one, so I don't see how it's relevant (unless, of course, Obama is a logistics and tactical expert).

In any event, food for my brain, and hopefully for yours.

7.28.2004

Sorkin, can I get an edit?
When I woke up this morning and checked the blog of ultimate evil, I found a very brief and tantalizing entry, "Barack Obama kicks ass." Having missed the democratic convention coverage last night, and being slightly more right-leaning than anyone else reading he-who-shall-not-be-insulted's blog, I was forced to google to find out just what was meant by this cryptic message.

Turns out this guy is a young tyro for the demmies and up for Senator this year. And apparently he gave quite a stirring speech last night. I just read the article, which only has a few blurbs from it, but one passage in particular struck me as very odd:
    "When we send our young men and women into harm’s way, we have a solemn obligation not to fudge the numbers or shade the truth about why they’re going," Obama said, "and to never — ever — go to war without enough troops to win the war, secure the peace and earn the respect of the world."
I couldn't put my finger on why this passage bothered me for a while. Obviously, I don't agree on the democrat party line about Iraq, but there was something else. It took me a while before it hit me. The line "...never — ever — go to war without enough troops to win the war..." reminded me of an point that a character makes to the president in the film, The American President:

    SHEPHERD
    Other than not knowing the difference
    between Harvard and Stanford, has he
    said something that isn't true? Am
    I not a Commander-in-Chief who's
    never served in the military? Am I
    not opposed to a Constitutional
    amendment banning flag burning? Am
    I not an unmarried father who was
    sharing a bed with a liberal lobbyist
    down the hall from my twelve-year-old
    daughter?

    A.J.
    And you think you're wrong?

    SHEPHERD
    I don't think you win elections by
    telling 59 percent of the people that
    they are.

    A.J.
    We fight the fights we can win.

    SHEPHERD
    Don't--

    A.J.
    You fight the fights that need
    fighting!
    [emphasis mine]

    SHEPHERD
    Is the view pretty good from the
    cheap seats, A.J.?

    A.J.
    I beg your pardon.

    SHEPHERD
    It occurs to me that in 25 years I've
    never seen your name on a ballot.
    Why have you always been standing a
    pace behind me?

    A.J.
    Because if I hadn't been, you'd be
    the most popular history professor
    at the University of Wisconsin.

    SHEPHERD
    Fuck you.
The American President, although unabashedly liberal, is a great film, not unlikely Aaron Sorkin's other writing effort, The West Wing. Unfortunately for Obama, I don't think he's seen the flick. His line about the troops contrasts with the moral of the film, which is the president doing what he believes is right rather than what the polls show or what is safe to win. Of course, this is real life and that is a movie, but I don't think it's very rousing to declare, "Let's make sure that we only fight if we are guaranteed victory!" Not exactly an exciting tag line for your campaign.

7.27.2004

Bourne for Steady-Cam
After seeing The Bourne Supremacy in the theater this weekend, and having given it much thought, I feel that it is a worthy sequel to the original. The film goes further into the troubled psyche of 'bourne'-again assassin Jason Bourne, who struggles to find out who he is while taming his violent nature. Far from shirking his past, his skills are seemingly innate and deadly, and the film succeeds in creating an enthralling picture of a man without a past whose only talent appears to be in creating mayhem. So, I give this film a big thumbs-up, but I would recommend that you wait until video to see it.

My sole reason for this is the direction of Paul Greengrass, whose style is best compared to The Blair Witch Project. Greengrass has such an affinity for hand-held cameras that it is distracting to the point of irritation, and in several of the action sequences I had to actually look away from the screen for fear of mild nausea.

It's difficult to see what is going on in or even manage to focus on any object for longer than a period of a moment. There are photos in last week's Entertainment Weekly which show a couple of stills from a hand-to-hand combat, and they were by far clearer than anything I saw on the screen. But worse, from the article, was this quote, explaining that it was no error:
    The car chase through the streets of Moscow, filmed with Greengrass' favored handheld cameras. "If Bourne ran, I wanted us to be running," Greengrass explains. When told that his technique worked so well that one audience member promptly puked during the scene, he exclaims, "Excellent!"
It turns out that the director is purposefully trying to disorient the audience instead of letting them just watch. While this tactic would surely appeal to art-film creators, it does nothing more than to call attention to his direction and pull away from the film. I believe that the mark of a great director, like a great umpire in a big game, is that you are virtually unaware of their hand in controlling the action.

Of course, I sat relatively close (say, 30 feet) from the screen, so I'm sure that added to the discombobulating effect, which is why I am recommending it on DVD. However, should you still brave the theater, I suggest you sit far enough away so that you don't get dizzy. In short, any other director the next time around will be fine with me.

UPDATE: Here's at least one critic who had the same experience, and says it more concisely:
    Shakey camera is not a style. It does not simulate any kind of real life stress. I’ve been quite jostled in my life, and I don’t know about you, but my vision stays steady. Shakey cam is a sloppy excuse for not being able to shoot something interestingly. By the way, there’s nothing wrong with a locked off shot. It’s nice to see the scenery.
Amen.

7.23.2004

I Can't Lose On 'Jeopardy', Baby, Ooooooo...
In all previous years of the trivia game-show, "Jeopardy", the winners had a finite number of chances to cash in and prove their worth. After five consecutive victories, the champion would have to step down with his earnings. (Not without getting an automatic bid to come back on the end-of-season "Jeopardy Champions" tournament, however.) While this was good strategy for keeping fresh faces coming in, it also precluded any sense of 'greatest' regular season player. I'm sure this was on purpose -- I think it would be very defeating to have your chance to go on "Jeopardy" be against a 20-game winner.

Well, the rules have changes. This season, "Jeopardy" has thrown away that 5-game rule, and now it's a win-til-you-lose format. And it didn't take long for someone to win 37 games in a row and counting. That translates to 1.2 million dollars won so far. It also translates into very intimidating trivia knowledge. Naturally, the guy is a software engineer from Utah. I don't know if you could be from anywhere more square. Maybe Allegany, NY.