Favorite moments... from The Empire Strikes Back
In an admittedly rare display of following up, as promised, I'm posting my scintillating remembrances from the premier film of the series. Don't get all mushy on me...

The Empire Strikes Back moments

"No, I am your father." And the father of all shockers. According to Hamill, the original script had a fake line of dialogue (something like "No, Obi-Wan killed your father."), but right before he was to do the reaction to Prowse's reading, director Irvin Kirshner took him aside and began, "Now, what I'm about to tell you only George, I, and now you know. And you can't repeat it to anyone." Then he laid down the penultimate 20th century shocker, a line destined to join "Play it again, Sam" as one of the most misquoted lines in cinematic history. (Most people incorrectly quote it as "Luke, I am your father.")
Not content with rocking his son's world, Vader immediately proposes they join forces to defeat the Emperor, which, because of what Anakin said to Padme at the end of Sith, we know not merely temptation but genuine desire. The desperation and intensity of the walkway fighting leading up to Luke's defeat perfectly builds up to what is, of course, the best moment in the Star Wars saga.

"I love you." And he responds, "I know." For the record, completely in character and simultaneously heartfelt. Always the cocky (and insecure) pilot, Han can't do the straightforward thing to confront his feelings. Instead of telling Leia how he feels about her, he spends the entire film taunting her, trying to get her to admit that she has feelings for him. Both too stubborn to let down their insulating layers, it is only at a moment when all appears lost does
Leia blurt out in honesty. And Han responds in a way that tells it all. He knows she loves him, but he is also subtly revealing that he's been too scared of his own feelings to admit them. At least out loud. And all this from two perfectly placed, improvised words (thank you Harrison Ford!).

"I've just made a deal that'll keep the Empire out of here forever..." This is definitely one of my favorite bits from Empire. It is one of the first shocking moments of the film (guess who's coming to dinner? Darth? Nah... Incidentally, what did he have to eat? Some cantaloupe?). As a boy (okay, as a man sometimes too) with my toy gun I used to try to emulate the pose
Han Solo strikes when he, upon seeing Vader and without fear or hesitation, whips out his blaster and fires a few vain shots at the Lord of the Sith. The first and only time we see what a Sith master does against naked blaster bolts, he casually blocks them with a hand and then telekinetically yanks the weapon from a stunned Solo. Without missing a beat, Vader hautily invites, "We would be honored if you would join us." Wowed by this impressive display of power and control, I had the creeping feeling that this one wasn't going to end on a happy note.

"Occasionally, maybe... when you aren't acting like a scoundrel." Otherwise known as the scoundrel moment, a wonderfully written (and performed) exchange that is the first breakthrough between two emotionally-walled people. The dialogue (from memory, natch) is the holy grail to me of how to write conversation that leads to an unexpected embrace:

Han: Scoundrel? Scoundrel? I like the sound of that.
He begins rubbing her hands.
Leia: Stop that.
Han: Stop what?
Leia: Stop that. My hands are dirty.
Han: My hands are dirty, too. What are you afraid of?
Leia: Afraid?
Han: Your hands are trembling.
Leia: I'm not trembling.
Han: You like me because I'm a scoundrel. There aren't enough scoundrels in
your life.
Leia: I happen to like nice men.
Han: I'm a nice man.
Leia: No you're not, you're...

"You want the impossible." Despondent after failing to raise his X-Wing from the swamp, Yoda shows young Luke just what it is to be a Master by delivering the impossible. Needless to say, Williams' backing music is as flawless and inspiring as the resolve displayed by the aged Jedi. Most poignantly, when Luke expresses disbelief at the amazing feat, Yoda, always the teacher, instructs, "That... is why you fail."

"You wanted to be around when I made a mistake -- this could be it, sweetheart." Packed with heart-stopping near-collisions, the Millenium Falcon's escape through the floating rocks is timelessly exciting.

"They're moving into attack position!" When I first purchased the soundtrack to Empire back in the day, this track wasn't included on the 70 minutes of music. Thankfully, with the CD releases, it was added back in -- it includes one of my favorite brass cues as the Falcon makes its unexpected turn to 'attack' the pursuing Star Destroyer. Just another of the suprises in Empire, and just another of the demonstrated ways that Leia remarks about Han: "You have your moments. Not many of them, but you do have them."

Favorite Moments... from A New Hope

A couple weeks back, I stumbled upon MSN's poll for their 10 Favorite Star Wars Moments. Avoiding spoilers, the 'moments' don't include any from Revenge of the Sith. The results after 90,000 fans chirped in:

• Hey Luke, who's your daddy? (22%)
  
• Yoda vs. Dooku (21%)
  
• Luke vs. Vader vs. the Emperor (17%)
  
• Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan vs. Darth Maul (14%)
  
• Luke destroys the Death Star (8%)
  
• Escape from Jabba at the Sarlaac pit (6%)
  
• Leia tells Han she loves him (6%)
  
• Obi-Wan vs. Jango Fett (3%)
  
• The pod race (3%)
  
• Lando betrays Han and Leia (1%)

I agree that when Vader reveals Luke's true lineage is the all-time best Star Wars moment, but after that I felt the list was inadequate or just plain wrong. (I don't hold the Yoda v. Dooku battle as one of the best moments even in Attack of the Clones let alone the entire series.) I started to write this blog about my agreements and general disappointment that so many other great moments were left out. After I had listed a few, I put some reasons behind my choices for favorite moments, but it kept growing and growing. I didn't think that 10 moments were enough to come close to encapsulating all the iconic images I've had burned in my head over the years, so I ended up with seven from each film -- a total of 42 classic bits from the entire series that I cherish. As the circle is now complete, I figured it was as good a time as any to share my best impressions from the films that have given me so much joy. And to do it before You-Know-Who got around to it. It also occurred to me to do a reflection on my favorite musical pieces from the film, but I figure that Jaquandor is better qualified to do it. So he had better get to it before I do it in layman's terms. (That, my friends, is some singularly excellent taunting.)

Lastly, as I mentioned the breadth of what I was writing to Titan, he convinced me to publish this in installments so that he might have something to look forward to in his otherwise dreadfully empty life (also it ended up being about 4000 words, and I know the typical person's attention span). As such, I'll be posting for the next five days with the rest of my keen observations. So, without further ado, here is my list of favorite moments from the first film. (Note: I will be posting them in the correct order in which you would show the films to someone who has never seen them; i.e., IV, V, VI, I, II, III.)

A New Hope moments

"Blast the door, kid!" I'll admit it. Though Lucas is mocked for his repeated use of the word "NO!" to let his characters express their angry disbelief, it works awesomely here. When we see the situation, like Luke, we haven't got any idea how Kenobi is going to get out of this one. The last thing we expect to see is for him to give a sly grin, lower his defenses, and allow himself to be 'cut down' by Vader. Hamill's scream of shock and anguish (and immediately followed by Williams' rising orchestra) feels genuine, and as I watched the scene for probably the 100th time the other day, I was astonished to find my eyes watering just a bit. The moment still has wonderful emotional power with me.

"Use the Force, Luke." From the last battle, as the orchestral crescendo reaches a fever pitch, the music suddenly drops down as Obi-Wan fulfills his promise to Vader that "if you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine." He can only be referring to this, as the old master's disembodied voice urges, "Let go, Luke. Luke, trust me." Only in death could Obi-Wan coach-up his young pupil in his greatest time of need. Shirking off his computer-guidance system, Luke breathes heavily with the intensity that the audience shares. Or at least me.

"I see you've managed to cut off our only escape route." Han retorts, "Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, your highness," and the butting-head romance is on. Thankfully nothing close to a 'meet-cute' scenario you see with nauseating regularity these days. The minute between them meeting and escaping into the garbage chute ('flyboy!') is packed with witty barbs, but of course my favorite is Han's "He's the brains, sweetheart!!"

"He's got too much of his father in him." "That's what I'm afraid of." Luke kicks some sand in frustration and climbs a small mound to stare off into the twin suns, the future, the horizon. Yet another iconic image, appropriately referenced at the end of Sith, beautifully complimented by Williams' track. (You know, that guy is going to be pretty good one of these days.)

"If they found out who they sold them to then that could lead them back... home!" Racing against fate, Luke is confronted with real loss for the first time. A beautiul shot of his standing helpless before the charred corpses of Owen and Beru. [Aside, note the contrast between Luke's reaction to loss and Anakin's. Anakin exacts revenge and foreshadows his own downfall by darkly promising not to 'fail again. Luke's response is to desire to become a Jedi "like my father". We know that Obi-Wan's look of acknowledgement to this request conceals many emotions.

"This little one's not worth the effort. Now let me get you something." The first time we see a Jedi in action, Obi-Wan politely attempts to diffuse the situation and then bursts into action with 'aggressive negotiations'. I love poise of Guinness after he's severed some limbs (the only time we see blood on the floor in the series) -- he holds his lightsaber at the ready and glances around the bar defiantly, looking to meet any stares of any other n'er-do-wells. In both deference to the old man's lethal skills and the cutthroat environment, the bar immediately resumes its business. Classic.

"I think I just blasted it." While definitely one of the iconic moments (the swing across the bridge), I look with new eyes now that the prequels are finished. Instead of just a hero and heroine, I see them as brother and sister, working in tandem (Leia works some Stormtroopers with the blaster as Luke prepares the grappling hook) that would have made their parents proud.

If you strike me down, I will become more power-- ARRRRGGHH!!!
It's only a matter of time before the mass media gets a hold of this story of Darwinian stupidity. Via The Force.net, it seems that a few incredibly stupid geeks (there is nothing so embarrassing as being a STUPID geek) inadvertently set fire to themselves while reenacting their favorite moment:

Two people have been left with severe burns after their home-made Star Wars light sabre exploded and showered them in petrol. Mark Webb and Shelley Mandiville are thought to have filled a fluorescent tube with fuel to imitate the screen weapon.

But their clothing caught fire during the mock fight in woodland near Hemel Hempstead, Hertfordshire, leaving Mr Webb with 40% burns. [BLOGGER'S NOTE: Would this indicate they were filming the end of Sith??] Police said both he and Ms Mandiville, 17, were in a critical condition in hospital in Chelmsford, Essex. A spokesman said fire crews called to the woodland found the pair on the ground. Police think they had been filming themselves at the time.

Fate and Sith (entirely SPOILER-FREE)
Although I don't believe in the axiom that 'everything happens for a reason', what at first appeared to be a tragedy turned out to be just the thing I needed. As I mentioned a couple days ago, I was planning to see Revenge of the Sith twice before it premiered today. The first was to be a screening by a manager of a multiplex who was going to watch the film before actually releasing it at midnight a day later. Turns out that Lucasfilm thwarted our devious plans by refusing to deliver the movie until Wednesday. In the email words of my cohort who was hosting the event: "roger that on the HATE LUCAS IM NOT SENDING THE FILM OUT TIL WEN. :( what a fag. Or he might be the genius that we both know he is." So, slightly perturbed, I hoped that other unseen cosmic events wouldn't prevent me from seeing it at DC's Uptown theater at a 7pm Wednesday screening, the same venue that hosted a charity premiere with Carrie Fisher the week prior.

Arriving on the scene with my gracious radio-station winning benefactor (an equally enthusiastic fan), we claimed our tickets and walked down the street to the end of the line, passing by the people camped out on the sidewalk for the midnight show. Fans were dressed in all manner of Star Wars regalia, from Maul costumes to Imperial officers to Stormtroopers; even that bald assistant to Lando with the electronic gear around his head. (His name escapes me right now. No prize to the first person to get it. However, I should note that I found it odd that he dressed up as an obscure character. Probably he is the elitist-type fan -- unlike myself.) One campsite (no other words to describe it) actually had a TV and VCR hook-up where several fans were hunched over fervently watching the teleplay. Not suprisingly, it was a tape of "A New Hope". Truly to be expected, but I found the level of focus that these campers displayed watching this film they had all seen many times before to be a little weird. I mean, I know they are fanatics, but do you really have to pay attention in case you miss something from the film? Admittedly, this is coming from someone who tends to pop in an episode when I get home from a night out and view it as if my life depended on it, but certainly not in broad daylight. And not with TV cameras and children around. I also saw the most morbidly obese Princess Leia (in A New Hope gear) imaginable. If she had busted out the gold bikini I think I would have tried to catch a matinee of Monster-In-Law instead.

In any event, and I am coming to my point in case you're wondering (at least, I was wondering, since I typed it -- okay now I am in FULL digression...). Sith provoked the most powerful emotional reaction I've ever experienced from a movie. My eyes welled up with tears several times during the course of the film, and I did have to blow my nose when it was all over. In a nutshell, the movie went beyond all expectations and blew me away. I left the theater emotionally shaken, unable to really talk about the movie. The only other film that affected me that powerfully was when I saw Saving Private Ryan in the theater. When I exited that movie, I went to a bar and got a drink and just sat there for about two hours, stunned. The same happened in this case; I went out for a while with my equally shattered friend and we just tried to take it all in.

Some friends came up and everyone asked how I liked the film. My responses either elicited laughter or aghastment. When I mentioned that I cried a few times in the movie, one female looked at me with horror and said, "You cried at a Star Wars movie?!?" Another patron asked me if I knew that it was all make-believe. It's difficult to talk to your average film-goer and relate the power, drama, and intensity of this masterful addition to the series when all they want to know is, "How were the special effects?" My answer is, "Brilliant. And welcome. To be honest, I needed a break from all the drama. The lightsaber duels were my down time." That's how I feel about the plot and delivery -- the special effects were just window dressing.

Just a few notes of comment -- I'll go into a SPOILER analysis at a later date when I've seen it a few more times. It's too soon to say, but I think this may be the best of the entire series. It carries an emotional punch only rivaled by Empire. The most intriguing scene to me was at the Opera House -- the speech by the Emperor to Anakin will be debated about for quite some time for its startling revelations. The most emotional scene (and there are a few) has to be right before Obi-Wan and Anakin draw sabers at the end. Scary, sad, riveting, and revealing without a doubt what Vader's intentions were when he was trying to seduce Luke in Cloud City. There's plenty more to gab about, but I'll save that for another time.

Notably, Jaquandor had a similar reaction, the eruditic fan he is. He's not just some fanatical liberal after all. Or maybe he's trying to trick me...

And finally, my point. I don't think I'm ready to see the film again for a while. It was so emotionally draining that I don't think I could take seeing it twice in 24 hours. So, Lucasfilm in the end knew what was best for me. I thank him and his genius, yet again.

UPDATE: My friend who had not been able to furnish the clandestine premiere furnished me with a perfect clarity downloaded version on DVD. I'm watching it now. BE JEALOUS.

Sith Anticipation
Well, this weekend, the buildup for Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith officially 'jumped the shark' for me. I'm so over seeing TV clip after clip, every trailer a half-dozen times, and glancing over countless articles from every opinionated flapjack under the sun. Let's not forget to mention all the critical reviews, most of which make sure to mention how 'stilted' (seems to be the favorite negative descriptor) the first two films were.

That in itself is irritating, since I happen to like both films immensely, but I must remind myself that not everyone can see the beauty of the films. I try to feel sorry for those people instead of looking down at their ignorance with disappointed eyes. I try REALLY hard to not think of such individuals as blithering fuckwits. Neither of these succeeds every time. It is a sometimes jarring result of freedom and internet access, where not only can everyone now voice their opinion, but that I can read them all instantly. It is my fault on the latter, but curiosity is a powerful motivator. I should not forget the 90% rule (i.e., 90% of all people are idiots) that I have used from time-to-time. I should not forget my own advice on these things from years past. I should not forget that I've been looking forward to this moment nearly all my life, and I should not forget it will be spectacular.

And I'll see it twice before it opens Thursday. One of my friend's friends manages a theather that will be showing Sith. Managers must apply the trailers to the films and then screen them to make sure the film isn't damaged. I was fortunate to get an invite to this unofficial screening when the subject came up a few months back (my friend and I always talk Star Wars). The second was bestowed on me by the grace of another friend who won tickets to see a screening Wednesday night at DC's Uptown Theater. So, barring some unforseen cosmic (or local) event, I should soon forget the foolishness of those with sight but who do not see.

XXX2: Electric crapaloo
It's been a while since my favorite reviewer Walter Chaw had made me laugh out loud at a movie review for a film he particularly reviled. Thankfully, XXX: State of the Union delivers the goods, and some of his trademark wrath:

The chief benefit of the perceptively-titled xXx: State of the Union is that it gathers, for two hours at a time, all the people in your community from whom you'd like a two-hour break. It's a salt-lick for under-hung jackasses--car porn that features one woman shot in the back and another while she's defenseless and on the ground, with the marauding hero strutting around as a bulletproof fantasy of domesticated blackness the whole time. There's a big truck, a couple of tanks, a trio of helicopters, and as its climax, it features a presidential bullet train shooting through the heart of Washington D.C. at roughly mach 4. It's calamitously loud, edited like a primer on how not to edit, and in a just universe, it would be the last nail in the coffin of Ice Cube's precipitously falling career. But this isn't a just universe--this is a universe where a critic is "out of touch" if he doesn't like a piece of shit that happens to earn an extraordinary amount of money, where it doesn't make an ounce of difference if it's actually something anybody involved in the film would want to see as long as you pay a few bones for the privilege of siphoning your life away before its awful majesty. Feckless, vile, and--in the wake of ballsy ruminations on violence and genre like Sin City, Head-On, and Old Boy--not even exciting or affecting in any meaningful way, it's the foetus in the pickle jar in the sideshow tent: impotent, grotesque--and ultimately more than a little pathetic for everyone involved. Save your two bits for a shave and a haircut.

Park it next to the Ferrari
Man, if I only had an extra $40K, this life-size X-wing would have a safe, loving home.

One step closer to the Matrix...
What IT director's life would be complete without this 6-monitor console? For the low low price of $4,000, you too can be saturated with information.

However, I'm afraid I can't take credit for the most obvious practical application with regards to my interests. When I sent the URL to my roommate, she had this succinct reply:

you could watch all six star wars movies simultaneously
[head explodes]

Indeed. It will be mine.

Kevin Smith Speak on Sith
For those of you looking for an early rating on Revenge of the Sith, I give you just the first line of Kevin Smith's review of the film:

"Revenge of the Sith" is, quite simply, fucking awesome. This is the "Star Wars" prequel the haters have been bitching for since "Menace" came out, and if they don't cop to that when they finally see it, they're lying.

I did not read any further, because the label on the article said it was laden with spoilers. I'm just even more juiced because Mr. Smith is a geekofile like so many of us. Yea boy. PS. Heard it first from Force.net.

7 Minutes of Sith
Not that it will be up for long, but someone filmed what I'd describe as a 'summary' screening for Sith. It has no dialogue, with music overtop the scenes. Basically, a start-to-finish briefing.

I wouldn't say that it really had any spoilers in it. If you've watched the trailers, there's nothing in here you wouldn't expect. You get some great extended looks at Grievous, who looks positively creepy; you get a bit more of the Emperor v. Yoda and Anakin v. Obi-wan. Glimpses here and there. I've watched it about four times now.

Force questionaire
Via The Force.Net, TV Guide has a What Kind of Jedi are You? personality quiz. Naturally, I cannot resist finding out what infidels think I should be (I'm quite hard to peg on personality tests as I tend to be quite moody). However, this one was put together by someone with a bit of humor. Of the 18 questions, there are some real gems, but my favorite has to be:

6. You can't find the remote control, so you:
a. Use the Force to lift everything and find it.
b. Force persuade someone to help you find it.
c. Learn to change the channel with the Force.
d. Use the Force to turn the nearest person into your personal channel changer.

As fitting, it wasn't hard to forsee my future. The last question is one that is usually mulled over by fans quite often:

18. Your favorite Force power is:
a. Force lightning (shooting lightning from your fingertips).
b. Force choke (choking anyone in sight with the Force).
c. telekinesis (moving stuff with the Force).
d. Force persuasion (having your way with weak-minded individuals).
e. Force stealth (hiding yourself with the Force).

If I had to chose one, I'd personally take the telekinesis, but a close second would be the persuasion. Most people aren't aware of the 'Force stealth' ability from the movies. The Jedi hero of the excellent 1st-person book, I, Jedi, had no telekinesis ability, but advanced powers of persuasion and stealth. Very interesting read.

Super suit
USA Today has published a story on the new Superman suit. Filling it out amply is actor Brandon Routh. From the picture, director Bryan Singer has made a few subtle changes, like darkening the red color to a more crimson shade, but otherwise stayed close to tradition. For better looks at the suit, go to Brandon's fan site. Based on Singer's track record, we may have another superhero franchise resurrected next year (this year could be the trick for Nolan's excellent-looking Batman Begins