9.03.2004

Parry, thrust
While this may be of no interest to those who don't know both of us, I have decided to comment on every single of the 100 things about Jaquanorhe posted, just to be spiteful. And only spiteful. Okay, I just felt like it. Below are his declarations, and in italics are my comments:

1. I enjoy very sharp cheddar cheese. I have shipped to my location in DC "New York Sharp Cheddar Cheese Spread", which I grew up on in NY. I consider it to be the greatest cheese in the world, and NO ONE who has ever tasted it down here would disagree.
2. My devotion to the Buffalo Bills knows no bounds. Mine does. I spent a lot of time in Philly, and my father is from there. Thus, I have an allegiance to the Eagles which is comparable. However, should these two teams play in the Superbowl, I would have to root for the Bills. But only barely.
3. Neither does my hatred of the New England Patriots. I share no such hatred. I only hate Nebraska and Miami (college teams, but my vitriol can be palpably noticed when the former is mentioned in ANY scenario).
4. To this day I remember screaming "NOOOO!" when Scott Norwood's kick went wide-right. I remember only that my brother put his fist through a wall after that.
5. Jim Kelly is my favorite Buffalo Bill. Mine is Joe Ferguson, who still holds the record for least interceptions in a season (1).
6. Closely followed by Thurman Thomas. Closely followed by Jim Kelly.
7. I am a Pittsburgh Pirates fan, although this passion is mostly dormant since the franchise is on its fourth rebuilding phase since their last winning season, in 1992. I've always been a Pirates fan, because (a) they were the closest baseball francise to Allegany, NY, (2) because a lot of friends and cousins grew up there, and (3) because I saw my first major league game at 3 Rivers.
8. It amazes me that in the annals of dumb sports deals, the Pirates' signing of Andy Van Slyke to a multi-year deal that left them unable to keep Barry Bonds around is never mentioned. :In retrospect, this does seem dumb.
9. I detest the Atlanta Braves.Ditto
10. The best moment of each baseball season is when someone knocks the Braves out of the playoffs.Clouded by hatred. I think it is the latter days of the pennant race.
11. If there is a modern-day Faust, his name is "Francisco Cabrera". No comment.
12. I enjoy walking with my personal CD player.I just got an iPod, and it is fabulous. 20 years ago I never dreamed that I could hold my entire (>300 CDs) collection in my hand.
13. I genuinely believe that Buffalo would be the finest place in the United States if the city and region would get its collective head out of its ass. Haven't spent enough time to know. I love the DC Metro area. Always have, and it started when I first visitied when I was 7. I remember being awed by the 4-lane beltway (coming from a town that has a 2-lane highway in some remote stretches, and is never crowded). Plus, it is very lush.
14. I adore chicken wings. Ditto
15. My favorite mixed drink is the sloe gin fizz. Jack and Coke, baby.
16. I haven't had a sloe gin fizz in more than ten years.It's been 1 hour for me.
17. My favorite wine is Cockburn's Ruby Port.N/A
18. I used to be able to drink a six pack of beer in a night.I can, but I get sleepy. Contrarily, I can drink enough J&C to cripple your average human in a night and still function nominally
19. Now a six pack will last up to a month in my fridge. I don't want to even go into how much Jack I put away a month.
20. I flirted a bit with Jack Daniel's in college and briefly after. (An unfortunate night before a wedding – no, not my own – ended the Jack Daniel's experiment.) I used to drink beer until I discovered the nice buzz that J&C delivered when I was 22. After that, it's tough to go back.
21. I drink Diet Pepsi constantly. I drink water constantly, due to (1)I had kidney stones when I was 25, (2)I work out a lot and it's healthy to do, (3) I sweat more than the average person, and (4) the best prevention/cure for a hangover is hydration.
22. I am crazy about baked pasta dishes.My current fetish is Baja Fresh's 'Burrito Ultimo with sour cream. Kicks Chipotle's ass.
23. I also have entirely too healthy a love for fried food. I do not.
24. My sweet tooth knows little bounds. Mine does not. Never been that big a fan of sweets.
25. I don't like broccoli. Fool. I used to not like it, but my taste buds have evolved. To a higher state of supremacy, one might say.
26. My favorite ethnic cuisine is Chinese. Italian.
27. The ethnic cuisines I feel guiltiest about not trying are Indian and Thai. Guilt? I want my pain, I need my pain!!! Khan!!!! Khan!!!!
28. I was born in Pittsburgh. I was born in Olean General Hospital in NY on July 20, 1971 at 11:22 P.M.
29. By the time my family settled in Western New York, I had lived in eight houses in four states (Pennsylvania, Oregon, Wisconsin and West Virginia). See number 28.
30. My first day of school in sixth grade was only the second time I started a school year at the same school as the year before. LIE (see below).
31. I have known Matt Jones longer than anyone else in my life, except for my immediate family members. True, as well as for me, although I have not SEEN Mr. Sedinger since 1989. He continues to be the most intriguing writer I've known, and I take his opinion on things I've written (when I do write, I send it to him for appraisal and feedback first and primarily) since 4TH GRADE.
32. I met Matt Jones in 1981, in Mr. DiSorbo's class. It was fourth grade, dammit, and it was a play called "How the Elves Saved Christmas". Thankfully, all evidence was destroyed, and key witnesses decided to wait for the civil trail to give their testimony.
33. Living in New York, I decided to attend college in Iowa. By fate (read: my father was promoted and moved to Philly prior to my senior year of high school), I attended Penn State. I loved it.
34. I had to constantly explain to people here that Iowa's where corn comes from, not potatoes. Really?
35. So my wife's family lives in Idaho, of course, having moved there from Iowa during her freshman year. I have no wife, although my girlfriend lives in North Carolina.
36. My wife is a year older than I. My girlfriend is 10 years younger than I.
37. My wife proposed to me, not vice-versa. (In my defense, I already had her ring on order and was going to do the honors when the thing came in. Curse you, jewelry department at the Walden Galleria JCPenney!)No comment!!!!!
38. The engagement ring is an emerald. To this day, I have not given my wife a diamond. I have not given anyone a diamond. I write letters (mostly hand-written) montly and send flowers. Go ahead and vomit if you must. [Kelly, this is where all my writing time has been going!]
39. I consider this a colossal failing on my part. For shame! Sentiment and sincere love trumps any DeBeers campain.
40. I have, though, personally provided her with a starting collection of five porcelain dolls, whose combined price would have equaled that of a small diamond. See above.
41. Our wedding bands are Claddagh rings that we had altered thusly: my ring bears my wife's birthstone, and her ring bears mine. No comment.
42. I was unaware until just a couple of months ago that I was wearing my Claddagh ring incorrectly, and thus signaling my availability to the women of the world. Cad!
43. Somehow, the women of the world have proven impervious to the effects of an incorrectly-aligned Claddagh ring upon my finger. Fate!
44. My sister is an English professor in Colorado. Mine is not.
45. My father is a Mathematics professor in New York. Mine is a retired mechanical engineer, aged 82, who can still kick my ass in tennis and is the smartest man I've ever met.
46. My mother is a retired librarian.My mother used to work for the Bank of New York. And she raised me.
47. So is my aunt, and so was my grandmother. Too many aunts to list here, and my two grandmothers were homemakers.
48. My favorite movie is Star Wars. Casablanca.
49. I hated Star Wars the first time I saw it. Seeing Star Wars in the theater with my father is the first solid memory I have. And I loved it.
50. In my defense, I was five and it was really the first non-Disney type thing I'd ever seen, and I didn't know what to make of it. I credit my sister with turning me around.51. I didn't see Casablanca until after my freshman year of college. Young fool. Now only at the end so you understand.
52. The first time I saw Casablanca, I didn't quite understand the fuss. See above.
53. The second time I saw Casablanca, I was totally and completely engrossed. See above.
54. I once went nine weeks where every Sunday evening I watched Casablanca. No regiment involved. I didn't have to make up for my younger foolishness.
55. At various times in my life, I have been able to claim the following as "my favorite TV show": Happy Days, Diff'rent Strokes, Star Trek, Dallas, The X-Files, The West Wing, Friends, and Once and Again. Magnum, P.I., Star Trek:TNG, Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
56. I was so little attuned to television during my college years that Twin Peaks had been canceled by the time I heard of it. Sad. We used to sit around on Thursday nights and watch it my freshman year at State.
57. I grew my hair long partially as a rebellion against my mother, who resolutely insists that all men should have short hair and made sure that mine was so for my entire youth. I got sick of it., I had long hair (not as long as Jaquandor -- I can't stand long hair in back) in college, but as I grew older (i.e., by the time I was 25!) I trimmed it because in the professional world it looks bad. Plus, later on my hair grew a littel thin. Now, if my hair gets to 3/4 inch, it's long.
58. I had a beard in college, mostly out of laziness to avoid shaving. I made little effort to keep it trimmed, so I looked like hell. For two weeks, I did the same. Beard hair on the pillow is just irritating.
59. I decided to try the beard again when I joined The Store. N/A
60. It bugs me that in the wake of the Lord of the Rings movies, the long-haired-and-bearded look has not come back into fashion. Where???
61. But then, my own fashion sense has always trended toward "questionable". See above.
62. For instance, I have bought no new clothes except for the occasional t-shirt and black pants for work at The Store in nearly five years. See above.
63. I wear shorts all winter, if I can. I used to do this, and I made it a point to wear shorts at PSU every day, even in winter of 1989. Walking was something very chilly, but leg hair cannot be underestimated for its warmth.
64. I prefer overalls to blue jeans. (More comfortable.) Never worn them. Look good on chicks, though.
65. I have never owned a pair of Levi's. Ditto.
66. The two pairs of jeans I currently own are Old Navy and St. John's Bay, respectively. GAP. Five pairs.
67. I think that neckties are the most colossally stupid article of clothing ever devised. This coming from a guy who loves overalls should be expected. I own 35 ties, and I wear them frequently, even when out at bars for no reason than to be spiffy. So there.
68. (But I know that my opinion on that score would differ greatly were I a woman, and thus required to contend with the high heel, the underwire, and the gamut of goofy crap they have to put up with.) No comment. At all.
69. I start to sweat when it's seventy-three degrees out. Ditto!
70. The idea of living anyplace where the average number of days above ninety degrees in a year exceeds the number of fingers on my hands makes me nauseous. Ditto! I'm not sure if it is genetics or that you are used to your climate. I will say that when we have hot spells in DC (and they have infrequent this year), the first day always seems much harsher than the last.
71. Frank admission time: I actually liked the Pepsi commercial Britney did, when she appeared in several different "decades". MOVE OVER BRITNEY!!!
72. I love David Letterman, and I love him most when he's at his most sarcastic and rude. Ditto.
73. The earliest music I remember ever hearing is John Denver's "Country Roads" and Neil Diamond's "Song Sung Blue". For me, still the opening track from Star Wars.
74. I have a soft spot for "I Write the Songs" by Barry Manilow. If we are talking about cheesy songs, it has to be "Raindrops Keep Fallin' On My Head" from Butch Cassidy.
75. I am horribly uneducated about rock music of the 1990s, especially "alternative rock". I am an expert.
76. My favorite 1990s song is "Stay" by Lisa Loeb. PFFT! Too many to list, and too many to think about. The early 90's was the heyday of alt-rock, and today's 'alt-rock' sucks. Don't try to dispute this. Anything empassioned from Weezer or Radiohead in the 90's will do.
77. So many love songs, so little time. Ditto.
78. I was a trumpet player for a long time, but I allowed that aspect of my life to go by the wayside when writing became more of a focus and outlets for trumpet playing became fewer. Clarinet, then piano, then guitar, then singer. As I got further indepent from my parents, the more I did what I wanted. To this day, hearing a singer's voice crack over a passionate lyric will hook me.
79. I am probably the only trumpet-knowledgeable person on Earth who does not care for Wynton Marsalis's trumpet playing. (There's just something about his tone that I don't like.) Too ignorant to comment.
80. I'm also not a fan of Rolf Smedvig. Too ignorant to comment.
81. My favorite trumpet soloists are Maurice Andre and Hakan Hardenburger. Too ignorant to comment.
82. My trumpet playing hero, though – the guy I tried to emulate in my approach – was Adolph "Bud" Herseth, who held the Principal Trumpet chair in the Chicago Symphony Orchestra (thus being the "concertmaster" of the world's greatest orchestral brass section) for fifty years. Too ignorant to comment.
83. My alma mater (Wartburg College) has a long-standing rivalry with Adolph Herseth's alma mater (Luther College). PSU's rival, no matter what conference they are in, will always be, to me, Miami (FL).
84. The first James Bond movie I saw was Moonraker. Dr. No. It was on TV, and I liked it, although I didn't appreciate it as I do now.
85. My worst habits are either my eating (which has gotten a lot better over the last few years, although there's a long way to go) or my tendency to swear like a sailor (I've made substantial inroads on this as well). I am shocked! I've don't recall Jaquandor swearing. My worst habits are binge drinking and cigarettes. Regarding drinking, however, I think of it as an activity, e.g., I don't drink when I eat, and I don't have a few when I come home from work. I'm either doing it or I'm not. And sex, I must admit.
86. I've never been in a car accident, as of this writing. 1. Very minor.
87. I believe that people who don't tip the pizza delivery person are rude snots who deserve to have their pizza loogie'd upon. Who doesn't?
88. The first person who figured out that pork tastes good may have been the greatest person in history. And thus signaled the downfall of the pig as a trusted pet?
89. My first vote in a Presidential election was cast by absentee ballot for Bill Clinton in 1992. Ha. Never voted. I didn't care enough in the early 90's (when I was democratic leaning!), and since I moved to the District (95), it hasn't mattered, since this place is 88% democrat traditionally. Bad attitude, for sure, but here my vote won't make a bit of difference.
90. I strongly prefer cats to dogs. Dogs are cooler, but I love animals.
91. Somehow, I've never developed a habit of reading The Onion. Fool!
92. The Simpsons was in its fifth season when I started watching it. Third season. That's when it started to get good.
93. My college graduation present from my parents was a Persian kitten that I named Jasmine. A 1992 Dodge Shadow. There's a funny story behind it, but not for here.
94. Jasmine died in summer of 2002. I assume this is the cat, as opposed to the character on "Angel".
95. I have a fairly weak sense of smell. Of the five senses, the one I would lose the first is this one. I love smell, and it is tied to memory, but it's no big deal if I don't have to be repulsed by a passing dumptruck or vomit in the bathroom or bad breath.
96. I adore cold weather. Ditto. I love summer and the beach, but too hot repulses me. Winter is such a glorious time.
97. October is my favorite month. Don't have one, but hard to argue with that.
98. Purple is my favorite color. Green.
99. I love red-headed women. Does anyone not?
100. My wife does not have red hair. I love blondes and redheads, but every significant woman I've ever dated has been brunette. Make your own theories.
101. I love science museums; the more "push the button and watch something happen" displays, the better. Dork. I love them too, but it will be forever tempered by the memory of my father taking my to the Franklin Instituate in Philly, when he proceeded to quiz my on why the physics shows would really be happening. This is when I had just completed my engineering degree. Holy pressure.
102. The best science museum I have been in on a substantial visit is the Ontario Science Centre in Toronto.Air and Space Museum, DC. Been to Smithsonian, too, but seeing the Star Wars exhibit was wonderful.
103. I've been to Chicago's Science Museum, which has an unbelievable reputation, but only twice. The first time, I was four; the second time was on a college band tour, and we only got something like three hours there. N/A.
104. Of the American states to which I have never visited, the one I most want to visit is Alaska. Hawaii, followed by Montana.
105. Of the American states to which I have never visited, the one I least want to visit is Connecticut. (I'm sure there's wonderful stuff in Connecticut. I just know nothing about it whatsoever.) Been to Connecticut on I-95. My friend Gary and I joked on the trip the slogan of CT should be "CT, you'll be here longer than you think!" Otherwise, I'd say Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures.
106. The places I most want to see abroad are Britain, Scandinavia, Japan, and Olympus Mons on Mars. Everest, somewhere in the middle of the Pacific, Antartica, Jupiter (can you tell I like remote places? I love that feeling of nothingness and vastness. When I go to the beach I love to stare out at the ocean -- especially at night -- and think about how little we are compared to the power and enormity of the universe).
107. I can't stand those artificial social events that companies insist on inflicting upon their employees these days, and I totally clam up at such functions. And how! I hate 'team building exercises'.
108. I tend to come off as something of a cold fish upon first meeting. Depends on my mood. In general I'll be very cold and guarded, but sometimes I've overly silly and outgoing (mostly read as cock or obnoxious). If you can't stand me after two meetings, it's you, not me.
109. My sense of humor can be very biting at times. I am dry and spastic (!), to the point where there are people who will 'get me' and completely understand my humor, and those who just think I'm an ass. Both have a case.
110. I have the sneaking suspicion that my long-time readers already know all of this stuff, and that my newer readers are not about to read all this stuff. I can't belive I'm up till 4 doing this.
111. Exeunt. Ditto

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