This picture of a parasitic second head that was removed from a 10-month old girl is the single most chill-inducing photo I've seen this year. Aside from Jaquandor, that is. Naturally.


The Beard on Bebo.
Save Toby
A fan (I have fans?) of this blog alerted me to the pressing predicament of a bunny rabbit named Toby. It appears that Toby's owner is going to cook and eat Toby in a few months unless donations come in. The site is replete with cute pictures of poor Toby and a receipe page. Personally, it just makes me laugh at the plight of the helpless, but I might buy a t-shirt just because it's a Friday and I've got nothing else to contribute to society.
There hasn't been much of anything to come out in a while, which makes my anticipation of Constantine more of hope than desire. While the storyline is admittedly intriguing to my preferences (about an anti-hero type who sees demons and fights, etc.), I've had doubts about whether the filmmakers could pull off a faithful adaptation from the graphic novels.

As with all things, the answer will be subjective. Walter Chaw skewers the film most deliciously, but delivers a sad portent of things to come:
    Chewed-up and swallowed, the film seems to constantly be a minute behind the cool stuff--lowering hopes, again, that Neil Gaiman's important "Sandman" run, a title that ran concurrent with the Garth Ennis/Jamie Delano "Hellblazer" arc, will ever find its way to the screen in an incarnation that doesn't suck balls.
Contrasting night-and-day is reviewer Victoria Alexander, whose sees the film as a validation of her beliefs:
    The complicated hagiography of CONSTANTINE is based on the DC/Vertigo comic book Hellblazer and is written by Kevin Brodbin, Mark Bomback and Frank Capello. I have an entire section of my library devoted to Satan and demon possession. (I’ll recommend merely three from my vast “DP” collection: “Demon Possession” by John L. Nevius, “Possession and Exorcism, Among Primitive Races, in Antiquity, The Middle Ages, and Modern Times” by Traugott K. Oesterreich, and “Hostage to the Devil, The Possession and Exorcism of Five Lining Americans” by Malachi Martin.)
She goes on for another two paragraphs before, hello, stopping her diatribe to review the movie. Victoria must have been salivating in buckets for this movie to come out.

In any event, being a devotee of all things dark and religious (not mutally exclusive), I'll spend my nine bucks this weekend.


Kneel before Matt
Out of boredom, I've been cultivating the facial hair over the last few days. Having taking the time to trim and shape, it's passable at work (both my bosses have beards, so at worst they will think I am sucking up, which we all know is a impossibility).

Working in the IT section, the most commmon comment is 'convict', although my own opinion is different. Because of my short hair (I clip it to 1/8"), my beard blends with the hair on my head. It reminded me of the main villain from Superman II, which thus led me to an hilarious site, General Zod.net. There are quite a few interesting bits of worship for the almighty Zod, but my favorite is this little Zod blaster, where you can have Zod destroy your favorite pop-culture icons. For instance, unleash his wrath on Jar Jar. I find the genre switching hilarious. [Works best with audio.]


Episode III trailer spoof
Via The Force.net, check out the hilarious mock trailer for Episode III: A Lost Hope. I had tears in my eyes when I was done.

Of the many scenes, the end quickly edited clips are my favorites, as we get to see Vader high-five the Emperor and Anakin do a 'Wonder Woman' transformation into Vader. I'm just chuckling thinking about it. Oh and the R2-D2 'preggers' tester is just so bad it's good.


Losing with the grace of a drunken ox
The first movie-line parallel that sprung to mind was from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, whose knight guarding the grail said the following after the main villain disintegrated into dust after sipping from a false chalise: "He chose... poorly." An hilarious understatement, that, and I'm tempted exact my own fool's vengeance on the Buffalo News' staff for picking some seriously lackluster 'winning' entries for their short story contest. That's just one man's opinion, but if you adjust for relevance (by a factor of 1.03), then clearly you will see the light.

I submitted my entry the day before the deadline. I figured it would be a long-shot to get published, especially in a non-hometown newspaper, so I posted it prior to the exit polls (keep an eye out for Jaquandor's 'losing' entry as well). Turns out there is probably something to that, as every honorable mention is from the area. Anyway, after reading the selected winning entries, I'm just a little put off by the staff.

By their own admission, they were swamped by entries. Still, they managed to select the 'heartwarming' story "Sweet Gloria", who's rather tiresome 'tale' begins as such:
    He would never forget Lee's face as he approached the poustinia. It was a steep climb up the mountain and, whatever he carried, Lee held it very carefully. The Chinese monk was always serious, but now there was a gravity about his expression that Chris had not seen before.
I don't know if there exists such a cardinal rule as 'never putting a word that Merriam-Webster doesn't recognize in the first sentence', but there should be. My first reaction to her opening paragraph was to apologize to the editors of the Buffalo News -- it seems that someone can write a worse and more confusing opening. Please read the rest -- I am shocked that it was under 1500 words as the author seemed to perform the miracle of turning a short shory into a long one.

After trudging through the prose biography that was supposed to be a story, I happened upon the author's writing experience (at the bottom of the article):
    Writing experience:Published articles and essays in Catholic magazines and newsletters, often about the spirituality of work. Is currently working on a novel set in the 19th century. “Sweet Gloria” is her first short story.
Well there you have it. Her story is peppered with little religious bookmarks and suggestions, which would naturally serve to piss me off.

As for the number one entry, "Sphere", it's actually not too bad for a first-time writer. It's actually interesting, so I'll just save my indignance for the other 'winner'. Now I've got to go back to work.