Turning the All-Seeing Eye on Myself
I ran across an interesting little article called Top 10 turn-ons for women while clicking around the internet the other day. Its one of those lists that deserves to be in Cosmopolitan or Maxim, but after going down the list myself, I thought it'd be interesting to rank myself in each category. Of course, if my writing about shining the magifying glass on my own personality is not interesting, you need read no further. But you are a poonter if you don't so there.

Anywho, I decided on a basic 10 point, score of 100 maximum for the list, which I've copied below (these are personality traits; otherwise, I'm pretty sure my abs would be on there ;)):

1. Intelligence.
2. Sense of humor.
3. Passion.
4. Consideration.
5. Honesty.
6. Flexibility.
7. Serenity.
8. Balance.
9. Ambition.
10. Attentiveness.

Now let's rock.

1. Intelligence: 9. I'm a pretty sharp tack. This is not to say that I don't have incredible moments of beguiling buffoonery, but I would say that 99% of my friends/exs would not consider me to be lacking in this area.

2. Sense of humor: 9.5. Believe it. I'd insert something clever and intoxicatingly droll here, but you'd be expecting that, wouldn't you? (I don't know who "you" is, but let's be friends).

3. Passion. 9 again. I can't help it. I have very strong feelings about a great many things, and I express them in many ways. These days it's writing or drawing, but I also used to emote on stage (when I was in a singer in a rock-n-roll band!) is just about the most cathartic experience ever. Problem with that is I put so much into every song that I would be absolutely drained after about 3. I'm not good at pacing.

4. Consideration. 5. In general, I'm pretty inconsiderate at times. There are moments when I'll do a lot for others, but I'm well aware of the times when I just can't be bothered.

5. Honesty. 6. I consider myself very trustworthy -- I keep secrets very very well, but I don't believe that telling the truth is always the best course of action. This is not to suggest underhanded dealings, but I've been
known to massage details or leave some out entirely, especially if (1) it pertains to business that the listener has no right to know about (2) it pertains to a friend's integrity or (3) being blunt would injure the listener. I'm sure none of these is appropriate justification, so I'll just say I have a somewhat ethically and morally devilish nature.

6. Flexibility. 6 again. Depends on what is meant. If you mean that I can change plans at a moment's notice, then 9. If you mean that I'll be flexible about what a girl wants to do versus what I want to do, 5. If you mean will I accept an impromptu blow job, 10. In general, I'm going to do what I want regardless, so if you want to be along, it's fine, and if not, that's fine too. It's just hard to decide, so I'll stick with my appraisal.

7. Serenity. 5. I have my moments of calm and positiveness, but generally I'm pragmatic, and somewhat frantic thanks to my hyper-metabolism.

8. Balance. 9. One of the last lessons I got from my dad when I left for school was to have a good balance in life. Work and play. Too much of one will make you unhappy. I NEED to write and go out as much as I need to work; otherwise I get very crabby mentally. It's a mental health necessity for me.

9. Ambition. 3. Throughout my life, I've been very lucky with the talent I've been born with and opportunities that cross my path. I've had four different jobs, all different but mostly IT or engineering based, and I liked them all. I'll do what needs be done -- jack of all trades. As such, I don't want to focus too much on one area and get bored or pigeonholed (see Balance, above). It's more of a philosophy than anything else.

10. Attentiveness. 7. I'm one of those people (my favorite phrase!) that focuses his attention on the person he's talking to as if there isn't anyone else around. I'm a good listener. Of course, if I'm not talking to you, you may not think that, so I've lowered it a bit.

Okay, so that means my final score is 68. A "D+". So, no wonder I don't have a girlfriend or wife, eh?

Update: A female friend of mine did the survey for me and gave me an 87. As usual, we are all our most critical analysts.