Two Cents and One Boob
I must have blinked, or been in the bathroom, or been distracted by something actually interesting at the time, but I didn't catch the over-ballywhooed Janet Jackson exposure during the Superbowl halftime show last night. I'm not sure anyone in the bar saw it either, because I probably would have heard about it then instead of last night.

From what I can gather, and it's pretty easy to gather as the news media has gone berzerk over the 'incident', her right breast was exposed for about 2 seconds on international televison during a non-closeup. Heavens! Tom Shales of the Washington Post apparently suffered a heart attack at the 'sleaze-fest', for apparently Mr. Shales has never even seen a nipple on TV. Oh the humanity!

Not to be outdone by an areola, Shaquille O'Neal was suspended for cursing out officials in a post-game interview. As the interviewer gently reminded Shaq that this was live television, the big man quipped, "I don't give a shit." Who's going to argue with him, really? Rather inappropriate behavior, in keeping with a small fine or something (take it out of his pocket change), but suspension? Give me a break.

Frankly, Janet Jackson has never done it for me, and never will. I'm sure some people find her attractive and perhaps somewhat talented (again, I wouldn't know), and if she thinks that showing off one of her 40-year-old tits will get her career jump-started again, then boo-yah for her. It's just a breast, it was just two seconds, and I've heard there's worse on NYPD Blue every week (not that I watch it -- thank goodness for the 'mature audience' warnings that allow me to keep my innocent eyes closed!!).

Moral of this story: I could not care less. And that's why I just ranted for 10 minutes just now, because I'm all out of caring. Damn, I hate it when I contradict myself.

UPDATE: Via Nimrod, the leader of the free world agrees with me. Who cares?

UPDATE2: MTV kowtows and expresses remorse, confirming a slow news day. Frantic downloading of single-breast JPEGs likely to blame in poor turnout for democratic primaries.