Here's a few more quotes from resumes I've seen today:
"Troubleshooting network problems, resulted from problems that the users have with the software that they have access to."
"Constant interaction with the users, no matter how small the problem may seems."
"Which consists of 20000 local and remote clients."
"Assisted my supervisor in the development of new system images that had to be deployed."
"In some cases of emergency, I was responsible for building the system image from a pre-configured CD-Rom."
"Major: Computer Science & Electronics with a 2.5 G.P.A." (thanks for letting us know how crappy you did)
Sigh. This is a long day.