I could walk home faster
As if DC traffic isn't going to be enough of a mess, some asshole has decided to clog up the evening rush hour some more by driving up to the White House in a van with a bunch of gasoline:

Police and federal officials said the driver was upset because his son was in federal custody and his threats did not appear to be politically motivated.

"It's domestic, not terrorism," an FBI spokeswoman told the Associated Press. "The man apparently is claiming he has 15 gallons of gasoline in his van and he'll blow it up if he doesn't get his child back. Law enforcement is trying to address it."

Well, now that we've addressed the issue of whether this is a homegrown asshole or a foreign asshole, I suggest lighting the match and let us go home. I'm one of those people when I'm stuck in traffic, and see it's because of an accident up ahead, mutter, "Somebody better be dead for this..."

I could walk home faster, if only it was 9 degrees outside.