Affleck!!!! Affleck!!!!

This is likely utter tomfoolery, poppycock, a Nightmare on Roddenberry Street, whatever, but it is just too mind-blowing to ignore. The rumor mill has spit out (via Cinescape that Captain Kirk, yes, that one, may be played by none other than... Ben Affleck:

.. some others had heard that Ben has also been talking to Paramount about possibly playing a lead role in a new Star Trek film from J.J Abrams. Apparently Abrams is coming down to visit the set in a few weeks, to visit Michelle Monaghan, whom he directed in Mission : Impossible 3, so that might add some more fuel to the fire. If it comes off, he's apparently playing the hero. Don't know if that's Captain Kirk or some other nameless male protagonist...but that's the gist of it. So possible that Affleck's going to go onto doing a new Jack Ryan, and possibly a "Trek", after he finishes with this film.

I can only suspect that the first reaction of Jaquandor will be [head explodes]. My own reaction has driven me to the bottle. Ah, sweet sweet bottle. You will make it all right.