5.24.2006

Star Wars: Willow?

Let the dangers of internet surfing be known. My original intention was to just read a review of The Da Vinci Code, but I followed a link thereafter to one of Ron Howard's earlier films, Willow. I decided to Google Madmartigan to read more about the character, and suddenly I found myself in the Star Wars databank entry for the character.

Now, wait a moment. Are you telling me that the story of Willow is somehow all related now to the Expanded Universe of Star Wars? Hardly seems to make any sense, seeing as how all the inhabitants of "Andowyne" (the planet cited) appear to be millenia behind in technology. Oh, and using magic instead of the Force. Just to name a few. I was just a little chagrined. What are they going to do next, put in Howard the Duck??

My righteous indignation subsided for a few moments, enough for my curiousity to take over. I figured that they would somehow tie in the end of the databank entry with some ancient tale in the Star Wars era, or at least give some kind of time frame. But, wait, they did that and more. The character of Willow is played by Warwick Davis, who just so happens to have a convenient cameo in Phantom Menace...As explained by the databank entry for Willow:
    A year later, Willow experienced a strange dream. He was riding on the back of Calan Dineer, a mighty Duinuogwuin star dragon, who took the Nelwyn to parts of Andowyne he had never seen before. Dineer somehow deposited Willow in Tir Asleen, where he again met with Madmartigan and Elora Danan. This would be the first of many dreamlike excursions Willow and the dragon would share, though to the Nelwyn, they were very vivid.

    One such journey took him to a world entirely wrapped in harsh deserts, and populated with many bizarre and wondrous beings. There, Willow adopted the guise of Weazel, a transient in a strange port city. Willow used his magic to tip the odds of simple card games, earning enough keep to stay afloat in an alien world. His winning streak earned the attention of Watto, a local junkshop proprietor who invited "Weazel" to his viewing box to watch the Boonta Eve Podrace. Watto thought, incorrectly, that Weazel would prove to help ensure good luck. Watto lost everything on that race.
Just about the most ridiculous tie-in I could ever imagine. What kind of writers are these? Are they suggesting that Star Wars was a dream of Willow's? Blasphemy! I was sure that this time, Lucas had finally lost his mind. Until I found the central home page disclaimer:
    On April 1, 2006, two Lucasfilm universes collided as the result of a genre-twisting April Fool's Day prank. The databank update and entries are still here, though they won't be found elsewhere in the databank.
Well, there were 10 minutes of embarrassingly foolish rage that I'll never get back. I figured I might as well alert the media.

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