Or, in the words of frequent guest-star Katee Sackhoff:
- "The main problem with Bionic Woman is that if you get too many hands in the pot, no one can agree with what they're trying to make so you get a stew that's made of s--t."
- At Itchy & Scratchy, Intl., Meyers has called a meeting of the writers (who look strikingly similar to the real Simpsons writers) along with Krusty and a female network executive.
I have figured out how to rejuvenate the show. It's so simple, you egghead writers would've never thought of it! What we need is... a new character! One that today's kids can relate to!
The writers look at each other, uncertain.
Are you absolutely sure that's wise, sir? I mean, I don't want to sound pretentious here, but Itchy and Scratchy comprise a dramaturgical dyad.
Hey, this ain't art, it's business! (to Meyers) Whaddya got in mind? Sexy broad? Gangster octopus?
No, no. The animal chain of command goes mouse, cat, dog. (to the writers) D-O-G.
Uh, a dog? Isn't that a tad predictable?
In your dreams. We're talking the original dog from hell.
You mean Cerberus?
(pause) We at the network want a dog with attitude. He's edgy, he's "in your face." You've heard the expression "let's get busy"? Well, this is a dog who gets "biz-zay!" Consistently and thoroughly.
So he's proactive, huh?
Oh, God, yes. We're talking about a totally outrageous paradigm.
Excuse me, but "proactive" and "paradigm"? Aren't these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? Not that I'm accusing you of anything like that. I'm fired, aren't I?
Oh, yes. The rest of you writers start thinking up a name for this funky dog; I dunno, something along the line of say... Poochie, only more proactive.
Meyers, Krusty and the network executive leave.
So, Poochie okay with everybody?
Later, an animator, draws a sketch of a dog for Meyers, the Executives, and Krusty...
No, no, no! He was supposed to have attitude.
Um... wh-what do you mean, exactly?
Oh, you know, attitude, attitude! Uh... sunglasses!
Can we put him in more of a "hip-hop" context?
Forget context, he's gotta be a surfer. Give me a nice shmear of surfer.
I feel we should rastafy him by ... ten percent or so.
Silverman redraws Poochie. They're still not totally satisfied.
Hmm... I think he needs a little more attitude.
Silverman blackens in Poochie's sunglasses.
Oh yeah, bingo. There it is, right there!